Sometimes I get down on myself as I look around me and see all my sisters and girlfriends pass me as they get more and more education and develop their jobs and careers. They're super smart and intelligent and able to help others using their knowledge that they've gained. I feel quite low on the importance chain and feel like I don't help my husband enough. Looking forward to when my kids go to school so I can go back to school and work and start helping my husband and the world in some way. . . .
A few weeks ago, I felt like this and Jason let me know what he thought, telling me that if I got paid to do everything I did, I would earn way more than what he was making. That I am an amazing mother and an incredible wife. Hearing him say that helped a bit and made me feel more of worth.
This funk I get into happens now and then as I forget what has been said about the role of motherhood and the work I actually do every day for my boys.
A little over a week ago, my mom sent me a quote in an email.
"No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan."
- Strong and Faithful by Quentin L. Cook
That day I wasn't necessarily pounding myself into the ground but after reading that, my day seemed to get better as I remembered I am doing exactly what I should. That Heavenly Father wants me to be a mother of my children and that I am doing a great and marvelous work.
Being a mom is far from easy and can't be called a relaxing job. We are constantly cleaning, feeding, playing with and teaching our kids. There's so much to be done, that sometimes my house becomes a disaster while I am taking care of my kids. But I am fine with my house being dirty now and then because I am helping my kids and creating memories with them. I am doing what I am supposed to do and need to remember that I shouldn't feel bad about that. :)
I never thought less of my mom because she was a stay-at-home mom, nor because she only had "some" college courses under her belt. I thought it was great that she was home. I thought she was smart anyway...and that can be backed up by her skipping a grade. So...I had to learn to apply that to myself. Now, I am 45 and a few credits shy of having my generals completed. I swore I'd have my BS before Brittany had hers. Well, we know that didn't happen. And now...I know I have zero desire to do papers or homework. I'm too old to be intimidated by professors. So. Who knows. I may never get it. If there are classes I can do online that interest me, maybe I'll take them one at a time. Dunno. What matters most is what my family thinks of me...if I am important and included. I get along well with my husband. I still make him smile. I get along well with my daughters. We trust each other and even though I'm far away, they keep me in their lives as much as possible. So...I'm not a failure even though many would say I am. :P~~~ on them...they don't know me. They don't know my life. Because those who do, wouldn't condemn me. Be their mom. Be his wife. Keep in contact with your mom and your siblings. That's what is important. Love you.
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