Nerves

A few posts ago, I talked about Jason applying for a job in Utah . . . well, he got a call about two weeks ago to schedule an interview and it's tomorrow.

I am nervous and excited and nervous. Yes, I know I said that twice.

The call has given me hope, and I'm trying to be prepared for the possibility that he won't get the job. But I also have hope and faith that maybe this is what is supposed to happen. That we might end up staying in Utah for good.

I have done so much more research on homes in the area and on buying a house. Like LOTS! The idea that we could have a house next year is so thrilling! And scary. I know it will be a lot of stress and a lot of work. Which is why I am trying to get ready now. Which is why I'm trying to make sure we are careful with our money, and putting money away for our future home so we can be at more ease.

I know Jason will do well. He's a fantastic teacher and that goes by his students reviews of him, not just me saying it. :) He's super talented and works hard. Last year when he had an interview, he went all the way to the final two! Obviously he didn't get the job, but that was ok with us since they would have wanted us to move in a week, with 3 kids that would have been even more stressful. But this time, it's a job we really want, they aren't trying to find a Spanish professor last second, and we like the area already. :)

Trying to just keep an open mind and open heart.

Whatever happens I know that we will be ok. It would be pretty awesome if we stayed in Utah though. :)

He knows best

Heavenly Father knows who we are and what we will do. He also knows what will make us happy and then TRULY happy. Over and over I have believed I learned this and remember this. Which in a way I have and I even say it over and over. But that doesn't mean the words always connect with the rest of me, which is one reason why we are likely taught the same things over and over again in church. We learn new things, sometimes we aren't listening for one reason or another, or maybe the way it's being taught could be more helpful from one person than others.

I've had my eyes, mind and heart opened more this past week on trusting Him.

Jason has been searching and applying everywhere for the job that meets his criteria for a full time job. We are more than ready to move, settle down, buy a house, grow roots and watch our children grow and make friends.

Through-out our entire marriage, we have had the thought that we will be leaving and living out the larger portion of our lives outside of Utah . . . .

Sunday I was telling Jason that we just need to keep applying to places that are opening up and hiring and doing our best to CTR( Choose The Right ), pray and have faith.

On Monday, we saw another new job had opened up, full time, and when I saw the location I kind of had my jaw drop . . . it was in Utah and not far from where we live. It was then that I realized something, we were open to all the possibilities all over the U.S. except Utah. We had our minds and hearts closed off of living in Utah, never dreaming we would live here. So when we saw that, we were shocked. But I told Jason that he should apply for it and if that's where we end up needing to be then we should go for it. Jason sent in his resume and application for it the next day.

We will continue to apply to other schools as they pop up, wait to see if any call back wanting interviews with Jason and pray for the guidance to know where we need to be. This time being more open and trusting him. Who knows where we might end up? Whether it's Utah, or somewhere else, we are excited for wherever we need to be, because we will be with our family and basing the decision off of where Heavenly Father wants us to go.

Life's curveballs

There are some things in life that are unexpected, and it can be coming from anything, anywhere, anytime, and anyone, whether it's thrown from family, friends, neighbors or stangers, and if you watch carefully, sometimes you can see them coming. But there are times you're not prepared for the speed from whence they came. It can be pretty slow at first but than ZOOM!! It is right in front of you and you're in shock at it being there already.

A few things have been happening the past year and all I could do was swing and pray I could hit that difficult ball. There are a few times I have striked out and broken down, a few foul balls, and once in a while I can hit that ball and run a base or two. I'm not powerful enough and haven't found the timing yet to hit a homerun, but I'm just doing the best that I can.

I have tried multiple times and varieties of ways of handling and dealing with the curveballs life throws at me. But there isn't just one way to deal with them. You have to approach each situation a little differently, but always with care. You can't just charge and swing the bat as hard and fast as you can or you might completely miss the ball and be hitting nothing but the air and feel like a fool. Patience, placement, timing, a bit of force, and lots of prayers can help a lot.

Motherhood

Sometimes I get down on myself as I look around me and see all my sisters and girlfriends pass me as they get more and more education and develop their jobs and careers. They're super smart and intelligent and able to help others using their knowledge that they've gained.  I feel quite low on the importance chain and feel like I don't help my husband enough. Looking forward to when my kids go to school so I can go back to school and work and start helping my husband and the world in some way.  . . .

A few weeks ago, I felt like this and Jason let me know what he thought, telling me that if I got paid to do everything I did, I would earn way more than what he was making. That I am an amazing mother and an incredible wife. Hearing him say that helped a bit and made me feel more of worth. 

This funk I get into happens now and then as I forget what has been said about the role of motherhood and the work I actually do every day for my boys. 

A little over a week ago, my mom sent me a quote in an email.

"No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan."

- Strong and Faithful by Quentin L. Cook

That day I wasn't necessarily pounding myself into the ground but after reading that, my day seemed to get better as I remembered I am doing exactly what I should. That Heavenly Father wants me to be a mother of my children and that I am doing a great and marvelous work.

Being a mom is far from easy and can't be called a relaxing job. We are constantly cleaning, feeding, playing with and teaching our kids. There's so much to be done, that sometimes my house becomes a disaster while I am taking care of my kids. But I am fine with my house being dirty now and then because I am helping my kids and creating memories with them. I am doing what I am supposed to do and need to remember that I shouldn't feel bad about that. :)

Rollercoaster life

The past few weeks have seen some huge highs and some very very down lows. :( 

I know life can't always be up and up but really. I need a break. 

A few weeks ago, life looked great and my husband had even been told he would teach three classes at BYU which is exactly what we wanted. Then one day he got a call . . . . from a university down in Alabama, one of the many places that were seeking a Spanish teacher and he applied to. They wanted to interview him!!! So we were naturally thrilled and he prepared for it and told BYU about the interviews. He of course did great, (I know I might be a little biased, but he is really REALLY good at languages.) he told me what they asked him, what he said and so on. The next day they wanted a 2nd interview! We were even happier. We started imagining life down South and had things we started to look forward to, like a HOUSE! :) They said we should know by the end of that week if he had it or not. A few days passed and they emailed him saying they wanted to skype interview him two more times the next week. We were still excited but more reserved. Their school starts about the middle of August. Leaving us only a week and a half to pack up and move if he got the job. It made me very nervous and sad thinking about the little time I would have to say goodbye to my family, friends and favorite places in my home state. His 3rd and 4th interview came and went and two more days passed till we heard from them. I was in a foul mood and irritated we had waited so long to know whether or not he had the job. Basically knowing if he had the job we would need everything in a moving truck in a week. He left for work on Friday still not knowing. Later that day he called me telling me he didn't have the job and felt relieved. 

People don't normally celebrate and feel happy after being told they didn't have the job and being so close to being chosen and offered a full time job with great benefits. But I did oddly enough. I didn't mind having more time in Utah. I know eventually we will leave but in a better circumstance I would hope than packing everything in a week and moving with 3 young boys across the country. lol. 

Later that day Jason's attitude was changed as he felt depressed at not having a full time job and securing and providing for our future. I reminded him of how he felt earlier when he got the news and I told him that our future was secure. As long as we were doing our best, putting our trust in Heavenly Father and moving forward with faith, he would help us! Heavenly Father knows where we need to be and if we stayed strong in the gospel, the Holy Ghost would guide us and protect us. 

With Alabama taking so long to tell us the outcome, things had changed. BYU may not be able to give Jason a job. Where before he could have had 3 classes, we will be lucky with 1 or 2. Also, besides maybe not having a job, we are searching for a new place to call home. Originally looking for larger places to accommodate our growing family. We are now downsizing and looking at smaller and cheaper homes to rent taking in the fact Jason might not be making as much as he would like. 

Yet, in the midst of searching for jobs and homes and other problems in our life. I have found reasons to smile. 

My darling and wonderful husband and our boys. I am soo in love with them. I'm grateful to not have to worry about having a husband who is a picky eater, or who is abusive, or who cheats or puts me down. He is kind, loving, works hard and is making me laugh almost every day. Also my little men. They make me so grateful to be a mom. I never imagined anything more rewarding than raising children. Also last night when I was so tired and drained from worry about everything going on, little Vince woke up and when I went to pick him up, he smiled at me. Oh those super adorable smiles of his!! He made me smile and feel so much better. I love cuddling with him and holding him in my arms. I have such an incredible little family, that despite all the problems and lows in my life, my men are my rays of sunshine. :)

Prayers and Faith

It is important to ALWAYS say your prayers. Don't just do it, when you're having a hard time or wanting something. Do it because the Lord loves you and wants to hear from you, day and night. He will bless you. Also, don't have faith just because life is so wonderful and lose that faith when things go wrong. You should have faith and pray always.

I'm not perfect in this either, so know that I am working on praying more and having faith even during the difficult times. But why I am talking about this is because of the past week.

Jason's work schedule, we knew would change next semester. This would be a critical time just because I'm due at the end of January. Jason told his bosses this and we were hoping for relatively good news on what the classes and times he would teach at. On Friday, we got really bad news. Jason had in fact got the worst schedule of all!! Teaching a new level of class wasn't the biggest issue. He would have to create lesson plans all over again, but he didn't mind doing that too much. It was the gap of when he was teaching his first and second class, first at 8, then at 1. Tuesday and Thursday he would've either had to go to school at 8 and stay up there all day just for his 1 o'clock class or after teaching his first, return home and then go up to school again just to teach. Neither which we liked. Of course all of this wasn't very good news by itself, but to throw in me, having my second baby and to have Jason stressed out and working like crazy and not being able to help out made things worse. That was our huge problem. So we were wondering if he should decline the offer to teach at 8 and just teach at 1, but that would mean a big chunk of money that we wouldn't get. So money with loads of stress or family with very tight budget and more loans? That's what it kinda felt like it came down to.

Jason talked to his bosses and some of his fellow teachers and we just received more bad news. No one wanted to help us and trade schedules. So Jason and I prayed and prayed and tried to figure out what we should do.

On Sunday, I broke down and cried because I was so scared of taking care of a baby and toddler by myself while still recovering from when I would have my second little boy. But I was determined not to be selfish and figure it out so Jason could work both classes and we could have the bigger income.

All we could do was trust in the Lord and pray.

Today, after I put Alyx down from his nap, I called Jason to tell him that I loved him. After I told him, and we chatted a bit, he told me of the miracle.

One of the other student teachers that Jason knew, who had previously said no a few times to switching schedules, had a change of heart. Jason had decided to ask one more time, and thank goodness he did. He was touched by the Spirit and told Jason that he would trade schedules, which has lightened our burden and stress by several tons. :)

It is amazing what prayers, faith, and help from our Heavenly Father can do. Miracles do happen!

Things will work out in the end, as long as we are doing OUR best. :)

Professor Wilber

So Jason has now finished his first week as a teacher! I'm so proud of him. :) He is teaching Spanish 105 while going to school as well. So far he has enjoyed it, from what I can tell. He is working hard to help teach his students Spanish and working on his Master's program. I've tried to help where I can. Massage him (almost every day), give him input and suggestions if needed, and help create some slide shows on his computer.

Here is my handsome husband for his first day of work/school. Since he works at school. ;)

We're also hoping and praying he can get a grant or two next spring. There is one where we can get around $15,000 for whatever we need, (a new car would be nice) or $5,000 to spend while living in a foreign country for two months that would help him for his thesis. So who knows? We might live in Spain or Portugal or somewhere like that a few months after the baby is born. Which would be pretty funny since we went to Japan a few months after Alyx was born. I just hope we don't always keep that tradition up since it's really hard to travel with a little baby and adjust to a whole new time change, but this time we would be traveling with a toddler AND a baby. Oh boy. lol. But I really am excited for the possibility to live in another country, especially since this time I could understand the language a whole lot better than when I lived in Japan. :)

Working out and gettin into shape. :)

Sooo I've had a gym membership for a couple of months now and just used it for the first time yesterday. It felt great! I mean I might've been kinda shaky and looking pretty stupid trying to stay standing after I got off the machine (dunno what it's called). It wasn't the treadmill, not the bike, kinda like a smooth walking thing amabob. lol. But after supporting myself and doing a few stretches I was fine, just thirsty.

Anyway I got to thinking that I would like to record how far I run, how many calories I burn, and the time I do it in. Just wish I thought of that last night. :(

Not like I think you would be interested in the outcome each time, but hey, I was pretty proud of myself for doing so much when I haven't done that kind of thing in a long time, being a mom and all. ;)

Day 1 at the gym
Miles: Over 3
Calories: 400 something
Time: 1 hour

:)  So not saying I'll do this every time I work out. But it's nice to show off progress. Next time I'll get exact numbers. Maybe I'll even lose a few pounds, YAY!!! Time to get in shape.

Busy Busy Busy ME!!

So ever since December . . . or was is January? I have known there was a good chance of me going to Japan, now it's not just a possibility anymore, it's reality. So what am I doing a week and a half away from going to a foreign country? haha. Not packing. I'll be doing that pretty soon though. I have been doing alot of cleaning though. Every room, scrubbing and doing whatever it needs, getting it ready for whoever will take over the place.


My husband has landed a wonderful opportunity to do an internship over there. Teaching little kids English. It'll be cute to see that happen. It's been one of his biggest dreams to go over there and now we will, with our cute baby boy. But I have no idea what is in store for me!! The opposite side of the world, where I don't know the language that well, and far apart from my family and friends. I know a few common phrases and how to say that I don't speak Japanese, but I'm hoping to get by and have some good adventures. I'll try to give some updates while I'm over there, but we'll see how it goes.


Another adventure will be to fly on an airplane. I have flown. It's just been ten or so years and I just had to worry about coloring or talking to my sister for fun. Now, I will be on the longest flight in my life with a four month old baby to take care of. Hopefully he will still keep on being the angel baby that he is while on a plane.


I know it will be memorable and that it will be a good experience. I mean who gets to live in a country like Japan for two months?!?! That doesn't happen to everyone.