Hogar dulce hogar

For those who don't know Spanish . . .

home sweet home. :)

All my life I've loved the Spanish language and wanted to be fluent in it. Which I am working on. I know basics and can understand a few things, but to actually have conversations in it? I'm slow, unsure and nervous.

I am teaching my children what I know, colors, foods, and so on. Occasionally my husband will pray in Spanish. Also, when it's time to help the kids pray once in a GREAT while when it's his turn to help he will help them say it in Spanish.

A week ago, we started to encourage Alyx to start saying his prayers without our help. One night we got ready for bed and asked him how do we start to pray. We had our arms folded, closed our eyes, and heard him say "Nuestro . . " He then asked what came next. Jason proceeded to help him continue in Spanish. At the end of the prayer we were both smiling and quite shocked. Alyx clearly remembered beginning prayers like that at times.

Tonight we had another surprise, quite similar. We gathered together in the boys' room, ready for prayer and told Alyx to begin saying it, in wonderful Spanish, he started, "Nuestro Padre Celestial, " and once again Jason helped him out. I could feel the smiles on our faces. After the prayer Jason gave Alyx a big hug and then Alyx turned to me for a giant hug.

After William's turn to pray and getting all our boys tucked in bed, Jason and I agreed that he should speak more Spanish around the home. If Alyx has picked up a tiny bit of Spanish from us barely talking in it, how much more will he, William, and Vincent learn from Jason speaking more often!? Also, it wouldn't hurt my knowledge in learning and becoming more fluent. In turn, I will also be able to help the boys more in addition to Jason doing it.

I'm thrilled and excited as our home will be filled with the Spanish language!! :) Jason and I have talked about wanting to help our boys learn and become fluent in Spanish and it looks like we are on our way. :)

Alyx the Music Man

Alyx has a deep love for music already. :)

AND I'M SOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

Can you tell?! :)

For a long time, he has had an interest in both the piano and the trumpet, and occasionally he will sing all on his own with us in church, or ask me to sing in the car, or if he's watching a movie that has a song, he will do his best to sing along.

For over a year now, he will ask to play 'Daddy's trumpet' and play around with it, making actual sound come out! As an adult, it is difficult to play the trumpet, as a little kid, not even 5 yet, he is doing better than most adults and has an incredible gift!!! He has made the comment sometimes that he wants to play the trumpet like Daddy and Quincy (from the show 'Little Einsteins').

At times when we go to my Mom's house, he will want to play the piano, he will play around and very softly play the keys. A few times he will play the keys and sing "I Am a Child of God". It is very touching to watch him sing that song alone, with the piano, it is so sweet and tender as well. One time, there was a music book on the piano and he would play the piano and start singing that Primary hymn, and then after a little bit he would stop, turn a page and then start singing and playing the piano again, then stopping, turning the page and repeating the whole process. He is such a smart and sweet little boy! :) Jason bought a keyboard for our family and we are going to have Alyx start piano lessons after his 5th birthday.

Also if Alyx still has an interest in the trumpet when he's a little older, we will gladly give him trumpet lessons. :)

Music means so much to Jason and I, we kind of had a long standing (playful/serious) argument who loves music more. Neither of us I'm sure will ever give in. lol. :) But that is ok with me, I'm so happy to be married to a man who thinks he loves music more than I do. :) Music is incredibly important to me and I'm happy to have my little family started down the road of a musical life.

Wonder what musical instruments William and Vincent will love playing . . . . :)

Happy New Year!

I am amazed at how much time has passed, from being a child, teenager, adult, from my single to my married life. From being a wife to becoming a wife and mother. This year will bring so many fantastic celebrations and new adventures some of which I'm hoping to include a GIANT move to a new state because of Jason getting a full time job. Here's to hoping! :)

This year I've already made some changes, nothing huge, or new, but still wanting to make a difference.

I've joined an institute choir that I've been in the past already. I miss singing in a choir and learning new things to help me improve and feeling the Holy Ghost as I sing beautiful music with lyrics that touch my heart and soul.

I was already working out last year, but I'm determined now to actually have goals on what I want within working out. Trimming, toning and losing inches and pounds. I've been walking and running with a goal of 12,000 steps a day thanks to my fitbit zip. Totally LOVE it!!! Also in a pretty big team competition with the # of steps we do each day to try to eliminate others. I'm doing my best to not let my team down. Eating healthier too is helping me a bunch. Going to the store for groceries, I thought about buying some delicious ice cream that I've been wanting for a while and was able to not buy any junk food whatsoever! Instead, buying vegetables I will actually eat (because what's the point of buying certain healthy foods when you know you won't eat them?), fruits, and protein for meals.

Jason and I are also working on devoting more quality time to each other by going on more dates. It always amazes me how much I love that man and how that love just continues to get stronger and bigger. Each day/week/month/year, I feel like our love for each other is so GIGANTIC and powerful, but than it just grows more and I'm so incredibly happy. Sorry if this part is sappy, but hey, that's who I am. :) A big romantic, sappy, loves love person. :) So you just have to deal with it now and then from me. :)

With my boys growing older, Alyx soon to be in Kindergarten, William - preschool and Vincent getting more one on one time . . . I want to help them be ready to soak up all the knowledge they will soon be getting and to help them not get frustrated with the next new learning steps. Vincent has a new discovered love of books and is so interested in what Jason and I read to him. William . . . I'm struggling with things to challenge him with since he's such a quick learner. Alyx, I'm trying to help him with his letters and starting to teach him read simple words. He also has a huge love for drawing, coloring, music and basketball.

I'm also trying to improve my knowledge of Spanish and feel more comfortable and at ease while talking in Spanish. With Jason's help, hopefully by the end of this year, I will be able to pass the grade. Thank goodness I know a fantastic Spanish professor. :)

Super excited for this year! I know it will be one of my favorites yet. But it can't be helped when I'm just watching my children play together, learn and grow, and that I have an amazing, handsome, hardworking and supportive husband. With my growing little family, life is wonderful. :)

Christmas gifts

Now I know it's not quite Christmas yet, but that doesn't mean I haven't been on the receiving end already.

This past week my little family has been plagued with all kinds of coughs. Good news is that they are all getting better but because we've been dealing with sickness while with family this Holiday, Jason and I haven't slept well. We finally decided to go home early so that we can rest easy and get some good sleep. Roads were thankfully clear and no accidents happened. 1st gift, safety! :) Our boys are returning to their normal selves before they were sick so just a few more days and hopefully everything will be cleared up. My sweet husband has let me take naps to catch up on missed sleep while he takes care of the little ones. 2nd gift, caring husband (although that hasn't changed since I met him, he's wonderful to me)! 3rd, sleep!

I was holding my baby boy, although not much of a baby anymore, he's crawling and jabbers quite a bit when he's super happy. I was remembering how last year I learned I was to be a mother of 3 darling boys. I am so happy for having my children with Jason and I as we progress in our life together. 4th, my family!

But there is a Christmas gift that I don't want to go into a lot of detail about receiving because it super special to me. It is an incredible, wondrous experience that I will get to have with Jason in a few months. I found out last night and I was so happy that I was shaking.

Last night my little family and I ate dinner, enjoyed hot chocolate and watched "The Santa Clause", tonight we will bake cookies, have the children unwrap their first gifts, sing carols, and read of the reason we celebrate Christmas. The story of Christ's birth.

I hope everyone stays safe, and has a very Merry Christmas!!! :)

Being thankful for the big and small

Sometimes we take things for granted, and then when Thanksgiving comes, we start naming things we're grateful for which is fantastic! 

But we should be grateful for things year round.

Also when we think of things that we're thankful for, do you think about the little things too? You can list family, friends, and stuff around you but what about the very specific stuff?

I know I am so thankful for Jason's gift of languages, mostly Spanish, as that is how we connected. I'm thankful for his patience with me, his love for me, and forever thankful that he rescued me in the darkest time of my life. I'm thankful for his love of music, which we constantly bring up and 'argue' who loves music more. I'm also thankful for my boys, each one of their smiles, and the sound of their laughter. The fact that no one has been jealous when a new sibling comes into the family is a complete blessing. 

Those are just a few things that I'm thankful for my little Wilbermen family. 

I'm also thankful for my angel mother. She has and is one of my bestest friends ever!! She has supported me and been there for me when others have not. We hardly fought in my years growing up with her and I've always looked up to her. I'm thankful for her kindness, and love of music. I'm thankful for her goofiness, as she taught me it is ok to be silly, all of which she learned from her mother. But the most important thing she taught me, is that I am a daughter of God and and to love the gospel. 

I am thankful for all my friends, for a reason or another. There are too many wonderful friends to try to name them all or what they've done. But just know that I have been extremely blessed to have true friends who care and have/still do help me. 

I am also thankful for warm water. :)

Music.

Sports.

Sunrises and sunsets.

Waterfalls.

When it is raining and there are puddles for me to jump in. :)

Flowers.

When strangers do kind things for each other.

For all my senses.

My health.

Animals, more specifically, horses and dogs. :)

The color blue!! lol.

The ability to go to school.

Books.

Milk and cookies.

Being a stay at home mom!!!!

I could go on and on, but I dunno if you would really be interested. :) If there is one thing that you really need to know I am thankful for, it would be this.

None of this would be possible without Jesus Christ, our older brother, Savior and Redeemer and our Heavenly Father and his wondrous and perfect plan. I know I will be able to live with my loved ones after death if I am doing my best and repent from my sins. I am sealed to Jason for all eternity because we got married in the temple. Life would be unbearable without the knowlege that I have. I am so happy! My life is far from perfect and easy, but I am happy! I love my family and our adventures in everyday life. Remember to be thankful, but also to be grateful. Show your gratitude and be happy. :)

Rollercoaster life

The past few weeks have seen some huge highs and some very very down lows. :( 

I know life can't always be up and up but really. I need a break. 

A few weeks ago, life looked great and my husband had even been told he would teach three classes at BYU which is exactly what we wanted. Then one day he got a call . . . . from a university down in Alabama, one of the many places that were seeking a Spanish teacher and he applied to. They wanted to interview him!!! So we were naturally thrilled and he prepared for it and told BYU about the interviews. He of course did great, (I know I might be a little biased, but he is really REALLY good at languages.) he told me what they asked him, what he said and so on. The next day they wanted a 2nd interview! We were even happier. We started imagining life down South and had things we started to look forward to, like a HOUSE! :) They said we should know by the end of that week if he had it or not. A few days passed and they emailed him saying they wanted to skype interview him two more times the next week. We were still excited but more reserved. Their school starts about the middle of August. Leaving us only a week and a half to pack up and move if he got the job. It made me very nervous and sad thinking about the little time I would have to say goodbye to my family, friends and favorite places in my home state. His 3rd and 4th interview came and went and two more days passed till we heard from them. I was in a foul mood and irritated we had waited so long to know whether or not he had the job. Basically knowing if he had the job we would need everything in a moving truck in a week. He left for work on Friday still not knowing. Later that day he called me telling me he didn't have the job and felt relieved. 

People don't normally celebrate and feel happy after being told they didn't have the job and being so close to being chosen and offered a full time job with great benefits. But I did oddly enough. I didn't mind having more time in Utah. I know eventually we will leave but in a better circumstance I would hope than packing everything in a week and moving with 3 young boys across the country. lol. 

Later that day Jason's attitude was changed as he felt depressed at not having a full time job and securing and providing for our future. I reminded him of how he felt earlier when he got the news and I told him that our future was secure. As long as we were doing our best, putting our trust in Heavenly Father and moving forward with faith, he would help us! Heavenly Father knows where we need to be and if we stayed strong in the gospel, the Holy Ghost would guide us and protect us. 

With Alabama taking so long to tell us the outcome, things had changed. BYU may not be able to give Jason a job. Where before he could have had 3 classes, we will be lucky with 1 or 2. Also, besides maybe not having a job, we are searching for a new place to call home. Originally looking for larger places to accommodate our growing family. We are now downsizing and looking at smaller and cheaper homes to rent taking in the fact Jason might not be making as much as he would like. 

Yet, in the midst of searching for jobs and homes and other problems in our life. I have found reasons to smile. 

My darling and wonderful husband and our boys. I am soo in love with them. I'm grateful to not have to worry about having a husband who is a picky eater, or who is abusive, or who cheats or puts me down. He is kind, loving, works hard and is making me laugh almost every day. Also my little men. They make me so grateful to be a mom. I never imagined anything more rewarding than raising children. Also last night when I was so tired and drained from worry about everything going on, little Vince woke up and when I went to pick him up, he smiled at me. Oh those super adorable smiles of his!! He made me smile and feel so much better. I love cuddling with him and holding him in my arms. I have such an incredible little family, that despite all the problems and lows in my life, my men are my rays of sunshine. :)

Happiness in training

I've been training for my second half marathon for about 4 weeks now and I have only 1 week left!! I have been kicking my butt in gear. Normally I would take more time to train and get ready, but I wanted to do a cheap half marathon and wanted to do it in a city that wasn't out of my way. So I looked up the half marathons happening while I was still pregnant and found the best one for me! It starts and ends in my hometown and I invited my mom to do it with me. She accepted and has been doing fantastic!! 9 miles in an hour and 28 minutes is not easy at all.  I have had to listen to my body, not wanting to kill myself running, but needing to push just enough to change and adapt. I have been changing as I notice I can run longer without stopping and going farther distances. I also have been thankfully dropping the weight that I gained from my pregnancy. No fun when you don't fit in your normal or maternity clothes. Grr. Sucks to be in between sizes. But hopefully give it one more month and I'll be close to my old self . . . except stronger and more fit.

There has been another kind of training going on . . . POTTY TRAINING!! I'm happy to say Alyx is finally potty trained. Even lasting the entire night without an accident. It is such a relief not to have to worry about changing him anymore. A few days ago I had to buy more diapers and it made me happy to think about how long they will last without Alyx using them. My first kid successfully potty trained! :)

But whatever it is that training is for, it generally takes a lot of time and tons of patience and help from others. There are times when I have broken down crying from frustration and get mad at myself for not being better. Sometimes, all I really need is a break from whatever it is I'm working on. Just to give me a breather. Or with Alyx I waited for him to get a little older. Structure is important however. We not only need breaks, we need someone to support, encourage, and push us a little. Good thing we have family to help us out. :) 

Power of my children

Did you know my boys have superpowers?

Well they do . . . . no seriously! I'm not the only one who thinks so.

All children have energy. Some more than others, but no joke, Alyx has ALMOST boundless energy, That kid is hard to tire out!! But not only that, he can turn his puppy dog eyes on you and it is hard to resist his cute little face. I never knew children could learn that at such a young age.

William will amaze you with his love and smiles. His hugs and kisses have great healing powers. I've known scary people melt from his hug. Also when you are in so much pain or really really down, he will cheer you right up. He loves to cuddle, which for me is a VERY important characteristic. I am a HUGE cuddler and sometimes it is very much a need in my life to cuddle with someone I love and who loves me.

Vincent . . . . awww my little sweet baby boy, he has his mother wrapped around his little finger. Close to 2 months and he has such power over me. IT is EXTREMELY difficult for me to put him to bed. I can be super dead tired at night and I'll end up staying up just watching him smile at me. He has been doing more baby babble so we will sometimes have mini conversations too. Or during the daytime, he will just lie against my chest, perfectly happy to sleep there and even when I should be cleaning or doing other things, I'll just let him rest there for a while and I can't get him in his crib!!! He's so freaking adorable and I love holding him! :)

I'm sure that this is just the beginning of their powers as they will learn more with time. They are so dear to me and help Jason and I so much. I never imagined my life could be this wonderful. But I'm happy and look forward to our future. :)

Father's day, a day of pain and incredible joy

This coming Sunday is Father's day . . . . the only reason I have to celebrate that day is for my incredible husband, the father of my three children.

Jason is fantastic and shows love to our boys. He plays with them, hide and seek, building blocks and towers, throwing ball with them, lifting them up to play airplane/superman. He reads them a book or two almost every night. He is even a Father who is not afraid to change diapers!!! He does so much for them and loves to spoil them. Lately he's taken up beat boxing with William which is super adorable. Alyx and William are daddy's boys and fight over who gets to be on his lap. They always want to be next to him from waking in the morning to when we go for walks and wanting to hold his hand. I know they love me, but they look up to their daddy and adore him. It was also 5 years ago that I told Jason on Father's day that I was pregnant and he was going to become a daddy. :)

It makes me super happy. Seeing Jason taking care of Alyx, William, and Vincent.

For a long time, I have thought about writing about a source of pain in my life. I like to think that I'm strong and not weak. But it just isn't so. So I'm taking a moment to write a small part of the broken little girl inside of me.

I could have been a daddy's girl. For a part of my life, I was. But the hero I once thought my father to be, turned out to be the villain. Wolf in sheep's clothing. Not every biological father acts like a dad. Most of my life I tried to have my father proud of me, I tried to make him happy and wanted him to see me as who I was. But he was constantly trying to mold me into what HE wanted me to be. He constantly hurt my mother, my sisters and myself. I tried my best to stand up to him. I tried to tell him how I felt, my thoughts, my feelings, my desires. He laughed, he yelled at me, he swore, didn't care if he hurt me. The man that was supposed to protect and love me and comfort me.  . .  was not my father. When trying to do the right things in my life, I did not receive support or happiness from him. All I got were put downs. It killed me. Growing up, I wanted him to see that I was not a little girl anymore. That I was a young woman and out on my own and surviving. I had hopes that he might soften once I was an adult and realize how much he's missed out on. Marriage, kids . . . he broke my heart further by showing no interest in his son in law or grandsons. Only when it made him the spotlight and was in his best interest to make him look good. Not many people know how he really is because he can be really charming and funny.

Even when I turned 25, that morning I broke down crying, and was a bit depressed. Knowing my father didn't care about his firstborn and doesn't put forth any effort to try to have a good relationship with me.

But that is just a small summary of my pain that I normally have tucked away. Hidden. Just know, I don't have perfect life at all. I'm not always happy. But thank goodness I have my wonderful, sweet and loving husband Jason, to rescue me from all the dragons and pain life has thrown me. He is always there for me when I need him. He listens to me, and lets me cry. He makes me feel so totally loved and cared for. Jason makes me happy and feel secure. He works super hard for me and for our children. He is an amazing father and I thank him for that. I am so grateful that he loves kids and is able to support us enough so that I can be a stay at home mom. Even more so is that he wants me to be there for our kids. He shares and supports my personal dreams as I do his. We have dreams that we want to do together. I am so in love with this man of mine and thank Heavenly Father for bringing us together. MY TRUE Father in Heaven who I know loves me as I am his daughter.

Busy BUSY week!! :)

Life is FULL of adventures and surprises!!!

May just might be the biggest. :)

So earlier this month I went through a week of each day pretty jam packed of things to do.

I had my birthday and turned another year older. YAY!! Not feeling like I should be this old already.

THEN!!! I had an incredible . . . . PERFECT 5 year anniversary of when I got married to my eternal companion, Jason. :) This year we had decided to keep things cheap and low cost. No special trip to celebrate. Just keeping it local and easy. I have an amaZing cousin who watched our boys for us so we could have a little celebration though. We were able to go to the temple and do sealings and then go out for dinner at Olive Garden using a gift card Jason had received from Christmas.  Leaving only the tip and a few extra dollars for us to pay for. Jason, my wonderful, handsome, sweet and smart husband . . . . he gave me the best gift for our anniversary that he's ever given me.

He wrote me a song. I love music! I LOVE it when he sings! Then he wrote me A SONG!!! Wowzers!!!

Not necessarily the notes and music. But he took the music and put his own words to it. HE MADE ME CRY!!! I love his singing voice, that man is quite humble and shy when it comes to who hears his voice but he makes me melt when he sings!! He goofs off a lot in singing, but he is incredible!! When he had me listen to the recording of the song, it was full of emotion and love! The lyrics he put together were incredible and touched my heart. He is not perfect and neither am I. But our love for each other runs deep and is continually growing.

Now . . . this week is already busy and exciting . . . but it gets even better. :) I had my 3rd darling baby boy.

Now on the 7th of May, he dropped sometime in the night. I woke up in the morning and was switching from mildly uncomfortable to being in a lot of pain. He was putting pressure on my tail bone which hurt . . . TONS!!! I also saw my Dr. that day. He let me know that the next day he was taking his mother out to go golfing which they do every year for a mother's day present. I was fine with that and told my little boy he can't come that day . . . .  HA!!!! So for the rest of the day, I was in a lot of pain from him being in that position that I had to use my breathing exercises to endure it. Sometime around midnight, I realized that my stomach was tight during one of my 'deep breathing' sessions. I slightly panicked. I looked at the time and kept track. I did this for quite a while, praying that they would stop . . . . . Nope, they didn't. I hadn't realized when labor had started, but it did, and I was anxious. At some point I told Jason, and didn't sleep a wink for the rest of the night because I had to focus on breathing and attempting to relax.

When the kids woke up, we did our best to keep me down and not active, hoping to delay the need to go to the hospital. We thought we could control the contractions. RIGHT!! I was thinking I would have our baby sometime that night or the following morning. So so funny. Our little boy was more impatient and wanting to get here sooner. I had texted and called people who previously said they could watch the boys while Jason and I were in the hospital. People were either sick, their kids were sick or no one answered. At the beginning I wasn't too worried, we had hours before we needed them as the contractions were only 11 minutes apart. But as I tried to relax and deal with them, I soon noticed they were coming faster and I was in more pain. Only 7-8 minutes in between them. I told Jason we would need to go to the hospital sooner than planned and should have someone here after we put the kids down for a nap. Another hour later and I told him we need someone to watch the kids now, as they were 5 minutes apart and we had to leave. Only, we still didn't have contact with anyone who could. I was nervous and stressed. I finally had Jason call his parents to come down to be with the boys, only, they were still an hour away. They said they could come down, and I quickly tried to find someone to watch them until they got to us. I was able to find a wonderful lady in our ward who heard the desperation in my voice and was able to watch them for a bit. She showed up and Jason and I left a little after 11. I had been in contact with my mom earlier that day and kept her up to date on what was going on and told her to head down as I was in need of her support and comfort as a mother can give. The time at the hospital was anything but easy, but with Jason and an amazing nurse, they helped me get through most of it. My mom was able to show up just in time as I needed a little more patience through the pain.

On May 8th, 2015 at 12:46 and only 2 pushes (for those who care to know) Vincent Marc Wilber was born. 7 pounds and 12 ounces, with a length of 19 inches. He was perfect!!!! I held him and was super happy and content and in complete awe. It is an extremely difficult thing to describe quite how I felt. As I feel when I have babies, they are my little miracles. Angels who come down to be part of my family. With this birth, I felt like I had more of a spiritual heavenly experience. I love LOVE being a mother! Adding Vincent to our family now, was exactly what was supposed to happen. :)

My 3 musketeers!! :)

Our crazy awesome family. :)

Graduating for the last time!

I am SO incredibly proud of my husband!! :)

Jason has worked really hard to graduate and now has his Master's!! It was awesome to see him walk this past week at the Marriott building. His parents and my mom were there with me as well as a handful of my siblings. They all helped take care of Alyx and William during the graduation. I had a wonderful time too! When the speeches were all done, I debated getting out of my seat and climbing the stairs and walking all the way to the opposite side and down more stairs to take a picture of him. My mother-in-law offered to do it for me, but I really wanted to do it myself.

Well I did it! I was really rushing and trying to take it easy at the same time, and I barely made it! I was walking down the stairs when I heard his name called and I let out a little wahoo. lol. I made it to the bottom and tried to steady myself to take come clear pictures of him walking across.

Yeah, they didn't turn out too well.

 BUT! That didn't matter, because when he saw me standing there, he smiled one of his happiest smiles, and I couldn't help but feel butterflies at the sight. He came over to me and gave me a kiss, and then another and left me smiling. Seriously perma grin, cloud 9 feeling. One of the ladies standing with all the other parents/spouses made a comment that she would've totally taken that picture for me. I smiled and laughed, wishing it was captured on my camera but knowing there was no way we could have really caught the moment. I thanked her and headed back to my seat. The workout was more than worth it. My happiness at seeing Jason's smile and getting his kisses were etched in my heart. I later asked him if he had expected to see me there and told me he didn't. Hence why he smiled that way. It was incredible! :)

Later after the grand graduation of the Humanities had finished I surprised him with a party for him at home. :) Super awesome day for my super awesome, incredibly handsome and smart husband, whom I love with all my heart and soul. :)

This isn't my plan, but I'll follow it anyway . . .

I've said this to multiple people for a long time, but only in the past few weeks has it really started to hit me.

That what I'm doing in my life, I never saw for myself. I mean yes, I knew I would EVENTUALLY marry and EVENTUALLY become a mother and have kids. But the timing of it all I could never say it was mine.

After graduating, I planned on getting my associates at a community college and then heading to Utah State where I would get my degree in Music Therapy. Maybe serving a mission, if that was what the Lord wanted me to do, but I was more leaning in favor than not. Then someday probably mid twenties get married since I didn't think that any guy would see me for who I am until I grew up some more and became more intelligent and talented. Than several years after getting married we would have kids. That was my idea, my plan.

Instead, it took a HUGE surprising turn for the way best.

I did stumble and fall after graduating and made some pretty big mistakes. But with the Atonement and some really great people in my life, I got it back on track, on the Lord's path for me. I married when I turned 20 to my handsome man who is also my bestest friend and stood by my side through the darkest part of my life. He pulled me up and helped me see that I deserved to be loved and treated with kindness. We had prayed with all our hearts and an open mind to what Heavenly Father wanted for our future. Poor as dirt newlyweds and both of us working and going to school, we learned that He wanted us to have a baby. So we did. After some more time, when Alyx was just under a year I had multiple promptings that we needed to be joined by another special spirit. So after some more couple prayer and going to the temple, we knew we needed to listen. William was born. I had dropped school right before Alyx was born and other than working here and there I was a full time mom and Jason fully supported us. Now I am once again pregnant and I feel every week at my 36 weeks because the Holy Ghost prompted Jason that we should have another baby, even when Jason and I had agreed on waiting a whole year more to try again. This was not our plan, but when we are told to do something. It is in our best interest and happiness to follow God's plan for us.

He knows what will bring true happiness. Could I have been happy with my plan? Sure. But would I be this happy as I am now? No!

School was already tough on me. I almost have no interest in generals save for some small sections. But I don't like English, Math, Science or History. I LOVE sports, music, art, cooking, and Spanish. I am able to have my interests in my everyday life. I don't need to go to school when being a wife and a mother not only brings me happiness and joy but is what the Lord has commanded me to do. :)

That doesn't mean I don't struggle in my life. I still have stress and incredibly hard trials. My life is not all full of rainbows and sunshine, but I choose to see the blessings I have. I do my best to stay open to the Holy Ghost and try to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do. I am so SOO INCREDIBLY blessed. I have seen my family and friends suffer in different ways, where I have no comprehension for what they are going through. I am surrounded and blanketed by unconditional love, safety, peace and excitement for my future. I am so grateful and super happy for not only where I am at in life, but WHO I am. 

Life has gone up and down for me, major highs and extreme lows. But whatever he has in store for me, whether it was part of my plan or not, I will do my best to have faith and obey him.

My little but BIG miracle!

Last night something very wonderful happened . . . . Alyx, my first born, wild child and darling boy WANTED to sit on my lap.

Now let me tell you that shocked me. He is known to be very super active and all over the place. Not really affectionate (hugs, kisses and cuddles). Also quite the daddy's boy. Always wants to hold daddy's hand, not mine, be on daddy's lap and gets upset if William is sitting on Jason's lap. When you get a hug from Alyx and it's longer than two seconds, it is really precious.

So I was surprised when not only he proceeded to sit on my lap. But for a minute or two, he CUDDLED with me and didn't move when I put my arms around him!!!!!!!!!

Some might not see that as a big deal and brush it off. Or think that was nice, but to me. TO ME. It was one of the best gifts I have been given. A gift of love. It melted me, my mother heart was bursting with happiness and overflowing with gratitude. I soaked it all in. I tried my best to imprint the moment in my mind. Knowing it could be a very very long time before that happened again.

I love all my children. Born and yet to be born.
With each child, there is always a special place in my heart for them.

Alyx, he made me a mother. He is the first person in my life that really needed me 24/7 and depended on me for everything. I experienced such extreme joy when he was placed in my arms the day he was born. I experienced sorrow at when they had to take him away to do tests, or give him shots. He is my first and no one else can take his place in my life. I love him sooo much!!! I am far from being the best or perfect mother, but I am trying. I try to help him smile. I try to teach him what he needs to know. I try to teach him to love others. Life is never easy, and Alyx comes with his challenges as any child does. But I make sure he knows that I love him, and hope that he never doubts that as he grows older.

My Jr. Jason look-a-like, William Anthony Wilber

So my newest little angel is here!!!

William Anthony Wilber

There are some reasons why we chose this name. 

For my first boy, Alyxander Michael Wilber. Michael came from Jason's family, middle name of Jason and Jason's dad's name and probably somewhere further down the line. 

Well I wanted a family name from my side in our next son's name. Whether it would be his first or middle. 

William is from my mom's side. There are four William's and the oldest one that I know of I had studied and know stories of him and his wife from days when I was in Young Women's. He's kinda one of my ancestral heroes. 

Anthony has a special place in my heart, as well as my mother's. Growing up she told me that if I was a boy she would have named me Anthony. She loved that name so much and never got to use it. I grew up loving it too. So maybe she never got to use it, but she is getting her Anthony through me. :)

Sooo . . . William arrived on January 29th 2013 at 4:20 pm, after 9 something hours of induced labor and three days of contractions that refused to stay consistent, which was super SUPER frustrating. Let me tell you. Jason and I left early and it was some of the worst winter weather we had. Everywhere we looked, there was snow. Roads weren't even plowed yet. The freeway was somewhat manageable but still very scary. We got to the hospital safely and without car troubles (haha) thank goodness. At 7, I was induced and at first is was fine, but the pain and contractions quickly escalated and became intense even though I wasn't that far dilated. Hence, being induced, because it forces your body to go into labor. Jason and I watched Sherlock Holmes and part of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. 

My doctor had to break my water and I held quite a bit of water unlike my first pregnancy. They told me I had around 4 pounds of water or more in me. I was also fully effaced and William was already in perfect position. So when I was dilated to 4 I was ready to push. But of course had to hold off. So I tried my best to breathe through horrible and mega painful contractions. Worst was when they came back to back and didn't give me a break. All through it, Jason helped me. :) He was amazing. I was super close to giving in to an epidural because the pain was so bad. When I was at a 7, I couldn't hold back any longer. I told my nurse that I really HAD to push. She called my doctor who was there in a few minutes. They helped me hold off a few minutes longer and then FINALLY I could push. Took a lot more effort and pushing than with Alyx. But  then . . . he was there!!!

Jason's first comment was that William had a lot of hair. When I saw him, I saw it was RED hair!!! :) I was super happy. I wanted a baby with red hair, because Jason had red hair as a baby and was super cute. But not only does William have red hair like Jason did, he is a chubby little guy and looks soo much like Jason. Which made me even happier as I wanted a son who looked like Jason. Now all I'm hoping for is that he has Jason's green eyes. hee hee. :)

I was so happy. I was given William as soon as Jason cut his umbilical cord. I held him for quite a bit and was happy they let me hold him for so long. :) My boy was finally here, with me and Jason. We were proud parents and everything was right in our little world.

Alyx met his brother William for the first time and instantly loved him. :)

My Wilber boys/men :)

Our Family!! 

Also  . . . my boys do smile . . . without the gas. ;)

Best thing in the morning

Besides sleeping in . . . and eating some yummy breakfast, I actually look forward to when my sweet little boy wakes up. YES!! I actually love it when he wakes up. :) It's because as soon as I open the door, I know what's going to happen.      

I'll open the door and see his smiling face and him bouncing up and down on his crib. It is one of the cutest sights to see. We will then proceed to play around, peek-a-boo, or him lying on his crib and moving around as I 'attempt' to tickle him. Sometimes he will start bouncing all over again. Then when I finally get him out of his crib, he will point to his blanket. After I pick it up, he will have his arms wrapped around me and lie his head on my shoulder. I then wrap the blanket around him and we will snuggle for a bit.

Once in a while in the day he will bring me his blanket again telling me he wants me to wrap him up in it and cuddle some more.

:)

I love these moments with Alyx. It's some of my favorite mommy moments.

Update on my breaking news

So if you read my last post and could read Spanish or translated it online, you know that I am pregnant again for the third time. 

YAY!!! 

I am so incredibly blessed to have this baby. I'm feeling much better too . . . sometimes. lol. I only got sick once so far but having to eat is still a pain as I don't feel like eating most the time and I had my first night of this pregnancy heartburn. Ugh. But with every day and every week that I'm still pregnant and well, I count my lucky stars and become more and more excited. 

I'm now almost 15 weeks which means in another 5 weeks or so I will find out if Alyx is having a sister or a brother. :) 

I am hoping for a girl, but if it's a boy I will be extremely happy too, as long as they're healthy and well. But I do really want a daughter. ;) I already have her name picked out. Jason and I kinda struggle with boy names that we love but we have a few good names picked out and that we're closing in on. 

I also am teaching Alyx and trying to get him to say baby. I talk to him often about how he's going to be a big brother and ask him if he knows if he's having a sister or a brother. One of my favorite things about being pregnant again is how Jason wraps his arms around me and rests his hand on where our baby is. It's so sweet and I think our baby likes it too. It always seems to relax and soothe me as well. Occasionally he will try to listen for the heartbeat to which I'll laugh or he will kiss my tummy. I love my husband so much! :) He is so wonderful to me and a fantastic father to our son Alyx. I can't believe how I ended up with such a wonderful and growing family. :)

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

All these pictures are sooo cute, but then again it's Alyx, couldn't go wrong with him. :) But in case you can't read the text on his shirt I'll let you know what it says in Spanish.

Soy el hermano mayor. 

Need I say more? :) 

 . . . . .

Well I guess it is in another language, but it's still not that hard to figure out. ;) Use the internet.

The Miracle of Love

Today, was just another ordinary day. Nothing new happened. Nothing exciting or wondrous. But yet I was thinking, yes, quite a shocker, me thinking. ha. ha. ha. No really. In the past week, it might've been one of the scariest weeks in my life. But that and other things got me thinking about the power of love and how it is such a miracle.

No couple, no marriage is perfect. Even if you're totally in love. Things happen. I've seen it in my family's lives, my friend's, even my own. It doesn't even matter if you're married, currently dating someone, or single. Love is a powerful thing.

Love does not erase mistakes or make people forget past hurts.

But it can help ease pain and heal wounds.

For me, love melts anger. Kinda funny but I can be mad at Jason for one reason or another and 5 to maybe 10 minutes later, I just want to curl up in his arms. Or I can be furious, extremely angry with someone then later that same day, cry because I love them so much and just want to help them.

Love is a very strange thing. A very wonderful thing. It can be scary too, especially when the past is so full of mistakes and hurt.

I've seen time after time, someone getting hurt over and over again. But they stick it through because they have endless love for that person, they are dedicated. Even when others have no hope or faith and would have given up already. I know another person who has done crazy and stupid things, but because of love and their unselfishness, their companion has forgiven them, without question.

I'm so happy that I have found love. Through my wonderful husband who sticks by my side, my son who makes me smile everyday, my family, my friends and those who don't even know me show love.

But there is one, my older brother, Jesus Christ. He loves all. There is not one soul that he doesn't love. Even when it feels like you're alone and you think how can he possibly love you . . . it really is true. I have felt his love, he is there and is willing to show you how much he loves you if you let him. He is the biggest miracle of all, and giving us the gift of life with him if we do what is right. If we let his gift of Atonement cover our sins and our pain.

Maybe you'll know this song . . . or the movie it was on. This has touched me ever since I was a little girl. I love this song and fits perfectly with how I want to end things. The pictures are wonderful too.

Tummy Time

So I just had a wonderful moment of pure mommy happiness and joy. lol.


I had put my son Alyx on his stomach to give him tummy time. He was talking, and smiling at me and I was just playing with him when he almost rolled over!! The closest he's ever come to rolling over and I got excited and texted Jason telling him so. Not even a minute after that, Alyx just rolled over to his back. I couldn't believe it!! But yet I could, I knew Alyx was a smart and strong little guy. After calming down just a little (that was really hard to do) I called Jason and told him. Then called my mom and Jason's mom and told them the good news. 


Anyway, besides bouncing around like the proud parent I am. I had to blog about it. Haha, so ya. This was a more exciting day than I thought it would be. :)

Waking up in the night . . . once again

This morning I woke up to the sounds of my baby boy, Alyxander, playing around and talking to himself in his baby language that only he could understand. I was enjoying his cute little noises for almost an hour, despite the time (around 3 to 4 o'clock). While I was waiting for him to either fall asleep or cry, I remembered of another time I was woken up way too early, but for different reasons. (Just to warn those who don't like detailed long stories, this is one of them.)   : )

About 12 weeks ago, I was woken up by my son kicking me in my side, (I was still pregnant). I looked at the time and I vaguely remember it being around 4 in the morning. I was trying to get back to sleep and get comfortable again when my lower stomach area got tight. It was a little more intense than Braxton Hicks. But it wasn't too painful that I was worried it'd be the real thing. A little while later it happened again. I breathed and got through it once more. It wasn't until that it happened a few more times that I really started paying attention to how long the pain was lasting and the length of time between. It took over an hour to convince me that what I was going through, wasn't just some practice runs of Braxton Hicks. I was having contractions!

I was trying to think if I should wake Jason up and tell him what was going on. He and his father were supposed to go skiing that day and we had gone up to his parents house that weekend for that purpose. I knew Jason needed a vacation from work, school and me pretty badly so I let him continue to sleep. He woke up sometime later and I decided I needed to tell him, but that he should go about his plans for that day anyway. It was about 6 or so when I told him that we were going to have our baby soon. He didn't freak out or anything, but he wasn't really thinking he should go skiing if I was having contractions. I convinced him that he should go, as the first stage of labor can be pretty long and that we'd have plenty of time to get to the hospital after he came back. He tried to get some more sleep but just ended up staying awake with me while I endured the pain.

 I was soon getting hungry and needed to eat something, also didn't want Jason to see me in pain so I left the bedroom to go snack on something. I poured myself some cereal and quickly ate it up. Relaxing on the couch, I was trying to breathe when Mike, Jason's dad came into the room. Surprised that I was awake that early he asked if I was ok and if Jason was awake and getting ready to go. I told him that Jason has been awake for a while and getting some more rest. Also that I have been awake for a few hours and been having contractions but they weren't too close to be worried about. Mike went and woke up Diane, my mother in-law, to have her talk to me to see if I was really having them or not. While I tried calling my mom. With no answer I left her a message telling her to call me back. Diane then came down and talked to me and I told her about the past few hours.

Jason left with his dad an hour later to go skiing. Diane had told Mike that this wasn't false labor and I had spoken to Jason. Telling him not to worry about me, to have fun and be careful. Especially when his baby was going to be on his way. I had eventually gotten through to my mom and repeated the story of that morning again. Still needing to get a few things for my baby boy, my mother and mother in law, as well as my sisters and brother went shopping with me, while I was having contractions. haha. I kept track of the time as the contractions seemed to be getting slightly more painful but not getting any closer. Jason also checked in with me once in a while.

After shopping and with Mike and Jason coming home early, my husband and I started our long 1 hour stretch home. Praying that traffic wouldn't be too bad and that the ride home would be as smooth as possible, because of how sensitive I had become over every tiny bump since that morning. We ended up leaving to go to the hospital around 8. The pain had gotten worse and the contractions were 4 minutes apart. We were almost off the freeway went our car started having major problems and completely died when we got off the exit. I started to panic, I was in labor and knew I couldn't walk to the hospital, even if it was a few blocks away. We tried figuring out what was wrong, but with no luck. We ended up calling Brandon, Jason's brother for help. Before he got to us, a stranger stopped and helped jump start our car, if only to get us to the hospital. By the time our car was running, Brandon had arrived. He and the stranger followed us to the hospital where our car once again died.

I was admitted but through the stress of the car, my contractions were not coming fast enough for me to stay and progress. I was only dilated to a 2. By this time my mother was also with me and we were trying to figure out what to do. One of my kind cousins lived by, one that I had not even met till then, Jennifer was kind enough to let us borrow her car, to get back home and to get around till our car was fixed. So we went back home about 10 in her car and my mom also drove back home. I had gotten a nasty shot to help me sleep, but several hours later, I found myself waking up once again and going to the hospital. We called and let my mom know, she came down again, found out I was at a 3 and we stayed at the hospital for two more hours trying to progress.

Once more we were sent home, this time my mom spent the rest of the night at our place. When Jason, my mom and I had woken up, we were getting through the day and discussing what we should do to speed up my contractions. As much pain as I was in, I was getting tired of having them. So we decided after lunch we would walk around the mall. I wasn't too hungry then and only had a few slices of an apple and was waiting for Jason and my mom to finish. It was around then that I had become aware that I was in so much pain and that the contractions were so close that I could only walk a few feet in between each stopping and starting time. I knew we had to get to the hospital, and I did NOT want to go to a mall and walk around. When we finally got to the hospital for the 3rd time. It took me a little more than 5 minutes to walk across a small parking lot. Once inside I got in a wheelchair. They quickly got me to a room. We later found out I was at an 8!!!

Sadly my doctor wasn't in town that day, so we had a standby doctor who ended up being awful and all business like. But the thing that made it worth it, was that an hour and a half or so later at 3:23 p.m. with the help of my husband, mom and kind nurses. My baby boy was born, without me needing an epidural and he was and still is as perfect as he can be.