Life's curveballs

There are some things in life that are unexpected, and it can be coming from anything, anywhere, anytime, and anyone, whether it's thrown from family, friends, neighbors or stangers, and if you watch carefully, sometimes you can see them coming. But there are times you're not prepared for the speed from whence they came. It can be pretty slow at first but than ZOOM!! It is right in front of you and you're in shock at it being there already.

A few things have been happening the past year and all I could do was swing and pray I could hit that difficult ball. There are a few times I have striked out and broken down, a few foul balls, and once in a while I can hit that ball and run a base or two. I'm not powerful enough and haven't found the timing yet to hit a homerun, but I'm just doing the best that I can.

I have tried multiple times and varieties of ways of handling and dealing with the curveballs life throws at me. But there isn't just one way to deal with them. You have to approach each situation a little differently, but always with care. You can't just charge and swing the bat as hard and fast as you can or you might completely miss the ball and be hitting nothing but the air and feel like a fool. Patience, placement, timing, a bit of force, and lots of prayers can help a lot.

Motherhood

Sometimes I get down on myself as I look around me and see all my sisters and girlfriends pass me as they get more and more education and develop their jobs and careers. They're super smart and intelligent and able to help others using their knowledge that they've gained.  I feel quite low on the importance chain and feel like I don't help my husband enough. Looking forward to when my kids go to school so I can go back to school and work and start helping my husband and the world in some way.  . . .

A few weeks ago, I felt like this and Jason let me know what he thought, telling me that if I got paid to do everything I did, I would earn way more than what he was making. That I am an amazing mother and an incredible wife. Hearing him say that helped a bit and made me feel more of worth. 

This funk I get into happens now and then as I forget what has been said about the role of motherhood and the work I actually do every day for my boys. 

A little over a week ago, my mom sent me a quote in an email.

"No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan."

- Strong and Faithful by Quentin L. Cook

That day I wasn't necessarily pounding myself into the ground but after reading that, my day seemed to get better as I remembered I am doing exactly what I should. That Heavenly Father wants me to be a mother of my children and that I am doing a great and marvelous work.

Being a mom is far from easy and can't be called a relaxing job. We are constantly cleaning, feeding, playing with and teaching our kids. There's so much to be done, that sometimes my house becomes a disaster while I am taking care of my kids. But I am fine with my house being dirty now and then because I am helping my kids and creating memories with them. I am doing what I am supposed to do and need to remember that I shouldn't feel bad about that. :)

RS Christmas Party

Last Thursday, we had our ward's RS (Relief Society) Christmas Party. It was beautiful!! Yummy food, awesome friends and company, and a wonderful message of Christ's birth. There was also some musical numbers. . . . I happened to participate in one of them. Let me tell you, I love love LOVE to SING!!!

But in front of others? Not in a big group? It does become more difficult for me. My nervousness increases and I'm bound to make more mistakes. Lots more than when I'm singing in a group of 5 or more. I rarely ever do solos. Duets I can handle a little more because there is another voice besides my own. But depending on the song, sometimes it is just my own voice for a little bit. A lady in my ward who I don't know very well got paired up with me, we decided to sing a beautiful arrangement of "Still, Still, Still", if you have never heard it before, I urge you to listen to it. This song wasn't so difficult with the words and a bit of the tune as I have sung it before when I was in the Institute Choir at SLCC called Sounding Joy. But with it being only a 2 part, SA, it was different. I had to work hard to get the notes and rhythms right.

The night of the Christmas party I was a bundle of nerves and was terrified of messing up. The sweet lady who was singing with me, told me I would be fine and told me she had prayed for me!! I was amazed that she had done that for me!! I felt horrible to realize I had not prayed for help either on me singing my part, or to help me calm down, or I didn't think about praying for her or our accompanist.  She and another friend helped me run through my trouble spot in the song and calmed me down. We ended up doing fantastic, I still made mistakes, but continued on anyway without sounding too bad. The end of the night, I thought about what we had just done. Sharing our talents with others. Even though it scares the crap out of me to do something like that, I had been given this gift for a reason and not sharing it wouldn't be a kind thing to do for my Heavenly Father who had given it to me.

Wanted to share this video with you that I watched that night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrLoWt2tfqg

Being thankful for the big and small

Sometimes we take things for granted, and then when Thanksgiving comes, we start naming things we're grateful for which is fantastic! 

But we should be grateful for things year round.

Also when we think of things that we're thankful for, do you think about the little things too? You can list family, friends, and stuff around you but what about the very specific stuff?

I know I am so thankful for Jason's gift of languages, mostly Spanish, as that is how we connected. I'm thankful for his patience with me, his love for me, and forever thankful that he rescued me in the darkest time of my life. I'm thankful for his love of music, which we constantly bring up and 'argue' who loves music more. I'm also thankful for my boys, each one of their smiles, and the sound of their laughter. The fact that no one has been jealous when a new sibling comes into the family is a complete blessing. 

Those are just a few things that I'm thankful for my little Wilbermen family. 

I'm also thankful for my angel mother. She has and is one of my bestest friends ever!! She has supported me and been there for me when others have not. We hardly fought in my years growing up with her and I've always looked up to her. I'm thankful for her kindness, and love of music. I'm thankful for her goofiness, as she taught me it is ok to be silly, all of which she learned from her mother. But the most important thing she taught me, is that I am a daughter of God and and to love the gospel. 

I am thankful for all my friends, for a reason or another. There are too many wonderful friends to try to name them all or what they've done. But just know that I have been extremely blessed to have true friends who care and have/still do help me. 

I am also thankful for warm water. :)

Music.

Sports.

Sunrises and sunsets.

Waterfalls.

When it is raining and there are puddles for me to jump in. :)

Flowers.

When strangers do kind things for each other.

For all my senses.

My health.

Animals, more specifically, horses and dogs. :)

The color blue!! lol.

The ability to go to school.

Books.

Milk and cookies.

Being a stay at home mom!!!!

I could go on and on, but I dunno if you would really be interested. :) If there is one thing that you really need to know I am thankful for, it would be this.

None of this would be possible without Jesus Christ, our older brother, Savior and Redeemer and our Heavenly Father and his wondrous and perfect plan. I know I will be able to live with my loved ones after death if I am doing my best and repent from my sins. I am sealed to Jason for all eternity because we got married in the temple. Life would be unbearable without the knowlege that I have. I am so happy! My life is far from perfect and easy, but I am happy! I love my family and our adventures in everyday life. Remember to be thankful, but also to be grateful. Show your gratitude and be happy. :)

Busy busy me

I feel like these past months have flown by so fast! Almost 3 months since my last post. But with moving to a new place and lots of cleaning, than unpacking and making a new mess just to get settled into our new home with 3 kids . . . I think it's understandable, at least to me. :)

We love our new ward! It's close to one of our favorite wards of all time. We also love our new home! It's the closest we've ever come to the feeling of home. Alyx was in his first primary program and made me cry a little. He was so adorable! Alyx started going to some Zumba junior dance classes which he loves! I have also tried out Zumba and love LOVE it as well! I started going to some awesome workout classes with a new awesome friend of mine every week and it has helped the athlete in me. Now if only I was in a regular choir again for the musician part of me. :)

This year for Halloween, we did a Peter Pan theme. 

Jason - Peter Pan

Myself - Wendy

Alyx - Captain Hook

William - Smee

Vincent - the awesome crocodile! 

Jason surprised me with a dozen red roses as he and I celebrated our 5 and a half years of being married. Vincent is 6 months now and had a great first cc cookie eating experience. :) Jason and I FINALLY were asked to give a talk in sacrament meeting, our 1st talk as husband and wife. We talked on "How to deal with tribulation". I was incredibly nervous and unsure of myself but I did my best to rely on the Holy Ghost and it seemed that from what people said, that I actually was able to help someone. Jason, of course, did amazing and was calm and delivered a powerful talk. A week ago we had to get a special helmet for Vincent's head to help re-shape it. He is super cute, helmet, or no helmet. :) Vincent also had his first tooth break through and experienced snow for the first time. I've been trying once in a while to help Alyx and William learn Spanish and I think it's starting to sink in. Alyx loves singing the Spanish color song and has been asking for 'agua' several times each week. I've been searching on Pinterest (LOVE that site) for free worksheets and activities to help Alyx and William learn things that would be taught in Preschool or Kindergarten. 

Alyx is super excited for Christmas to come and I have to keep reminding him Thanksgiving needs to come first. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends next week. There are lots of people that I miss seeing and it sucks we have to be so far away. :( I look forward to the day we will get a second car and I can drive more with the  boys to see people I love and be more free instead of staying inside the house all the time. 

It's hard to talk about everything that has happened that's important to me, or my thoughts and feelings with everything that is going on in the world, or my life. But as far as catching up goes, I think I did pretty well for now. I'll get back to writing more often again. 

Living my life by Faith

This past month has been filled with anxiety, worry and frustration. Ups and downs as explained by my last post. But I'm happy to report that our prayers have been answered and we are quite happy and excited. :) Jason is not jobless and we are not homeless.

It made us worry, after what happened with Alabama, about what we would do with our little family. Needing to find a new place to live and not having a job potentially took a leap of faith. We constantly reminded each other to have faith and that everything would work out. There was a day when I wasn't at my best or even in a good mood and I was super stressed. The boys were happy and content at the moment and Jason turned some music on his phone and took me in his arms and started leading me in a dance. That made me smile and laugh. The older boys stopped what they were doing and watched their mommy and daddy danced and smiled. I was super grateful for Jason helping me out of the pit of misery I was in.

Each day and night we prayed as a family, couple and in our individual prayers to figure out what we needed to do. Where we needed to go to live. We did our best to choose the right, and to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

About a week and a half ago, Jason received an email from a Professor at BYU who told Jason that room had been made for some new classes to be opened and meant Jason would be able to teach this fall. We were thrilled!! Not long after that we were able to put a deposit down for a new home that was actually pretty close to what we needed and wanted.

There's a quote that has been one of my favorites that I try to apply to my life.


"When we choose to follow Christ in faith rather than choosing another path out of fear, we are blessed with a consequence that is consistent with our choice." 

- Quentin L. Cook

Life is hardly easy, but our attitudes and actions help whether things can get better or more difficult. Jason and I are far from perfect and we do make mistakes, but we also strive to do our best and follow Jesus Christ. I have personally found I am happier and more at peace when I am doing what is right, knowing that Heavenly Father will bless me and not having fear.

Rollercoaster life

The past few weeks have seen some huge highs and some very very down lows. :( 

I know life can't always be up and up but really. I need a break. 

A few weeks ago, life looked great and my husband had even been told he would teach three classes at BYU which is exactly what we wanted. Then one day he got a call . . . . from a university down in Alabama, one of the many places that were seeking a Spanish teacher and he applied to. They wanted to interview him!!! So we were naturally thrilled and he prepared for it and told BYU about the interviews. He of course did great, (I know I might be a little biased, but he is really REALLY good at languages.) he told me what they asked him, what he said and so on. The next day they wanted a 2nd interview! We were even happier. We started imagining life down South and had things we started to look forward to, like a HOUSE! :) They said we should know by the end of that week if he had it or not. A few days passed and they emailed him saying they wanted to skype interview him two more times the next week. We were still excited but more reserved. Their school starts about the middle of August. Leaving us only a week and a half to pack up and move if he got the job. It made me very nervous and sad thinking about the little time I would have to say goodbye to my family, friends and favorite places in my home state. His 3rd and 4th interview came and went and two more days passed till we heard from them. I was in a foul mood and irritated we had waited so long to know whether or not he had the job. Basically knowing if he had the job we would need everything in a moving truck in a week. He left for work on Friday still not knowing. Later that day he called me telling me he didn't have the job and felt relieved. 

People don't normally celebrate and feel happy after being told they didn't have the job and being so close to being chosen and offered a full time job with great benefits. But I did oddly enough. I didn't mind having more time in Utah. I know eventually we will leave but in a better circumstance I would hope than packing everything in a week and moving with 3 young boys across the country. lol. 

Later that day Jason's attitude was changed as he felt depressed at not having a full time job and securing and providing for our future. I reminded him of how he felt earlier when he got the news and I told him that our future was secure. As long as we were doing our best, putting our trust in Heavenly Father and moving forward with faith, he would help us! Heavenly Father knows where we need to be and if we stayed strong in the gospel, the Holy Ghost would guide us and protect us. 

With Alabama taking so long to tell us the outcome, things had changed. BYU may not be able to give Jason a job. Where before he could have had 3 classes, we will be lucky with 1 or 2. Also, besides maybe not having a job, we are searching for a new place to call home. Originally looking for larger places to accommodate our growing family. We are now downsizing and looking at smaller and cheaper homes to rent taking in the fact Jason might not be making as much as he would like. 

Yet, in the midst of searching for jobs and homes and other problems in our life. I have found reasons to smile. 

My darling and wonderful husband and our boys. I am soo in love with them. I'm grateful to not have to worry about having a husband who is a picky eater, or who is abusive, or who cheats or puts me down. He is kind, loving, works hard and is making me laugh almost every day. Also my little men. They make me so grateful to be a mom. I never imagined anything more rewarding than raising children. Also last night when I was so tired and drained from worry about everything going on, little Vince woke up and when I went to pick him up, he smiled at me. Oh those super adorable smiles of his!! He made me smile and feel so much better. I love cuddling with him and holding him in my arms. I have such an incredible little family, that despite all the problems and lows in my life, my men are my rays of sunshine. :)