I know life can't always be up and up but really. I need a break.
A few weeks ago, life looked great and my husband had even been told he would teach three classes at BYU which is exactly what we wanted. Then one day he got a call . . . . from a university down in Alabama, one of the many places that were seeking a Spanish teacher and he applied to. They wanted to interview him!!! So we were naturally thrilled and he prepared for it and told BYU about the interviews. He of course did great, (I know I might be a little biased, but he is really REALLY good at languages.) he told me what they asked him, what he said and so on. The next day they wanted a 2nd interview! We were even happier. We started imagining life down South and had things we started to look forward to, like a HOUSE! :) They said we should know by the end of that week if he had it or not. A few days passed and they emailed him saying they wanted to skype interview him two more times the next week. We were still excited but more reserved. Their school starts about the middle of August. Leaving us only a week and a half to pack up and move if he got the job. It made me very nervous and sad thinking about the little time I would have to say goodbye to my family, friends and favorite places in my home state. His 3rd and 4th interview came and went and two more days passed till we heard from them. I was in a foul mood and irritated we had waited so long to know whether or not he had the job. Basically knowing if he had the job we would need everything in a moving truck in a week. He left for work on Friday still not knowing. Later that day he called me telling me he didn't have the job and felt relieved.
People don't normally celebrate and feel happy after being told they didn't have the job and being so close to being chosen and offered a full time job with great benefits. But I did oddly enough. I didn't mind having more time in Utah. I know eventually we will leave but in a better circumstance I would hope than packing everything in a week and moving with 3 young boys across the country. lol.
Later that day Jason's attitude was changed as he felt depressed at not having a full time job and securing and providing for our future. I reminded him of how he felt earlier when he got the news and I told him that our future was secure. As long as we were doing our best, putting our trust in Heavenly Father and moving forward with faith, he would help us! Heavenly Father knows where we need to be and if we stayed strong in the gospel, the Holy Ghost would guide us and protect us.
With Alabama taking so long to tell us the outcome, things had changed. BYU may not be able to give Jason a job. Where before he could have had 3 classes, we will be lucky with 1 or 2. Also, besides maybe not having a job, we are searching for a new place to call home. Originally looking for larger places to accommodate our growing family. We are now downsizing and looking at smaller and cheaper homes to rent taking in the fact Jason might not be making as much as he would like.
Yet, in the midst of searching for jobs and homes and other problems in our life. I have found reasons to smile.
My darling and wonderful husband and our boys. I am soo in love with them. I'm grateful to not have to worry about having a husband who is a picky eater, or who is abusive, or who cheats or puts me down. He is kind, loving, works hard and is making me laugh almost every day. Also my little men. They make me so grateful to be a mom. I never imagined anything more rewarding than raising children. Also last night when I was so tired and drained from worry about everything going on, little Vince woke up and when I went to pick him up, he smiled at me. Oh those super adorable smiles of his!! He made me smile and feel so much better. I love cuddling with him and holding him in my arms. I have such an incredible little family, that despite all the problems and lows in my life, my men are my rays of sunshine. :)
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