Busy BUSY week!! :)

Life is FULL of adventures and surprises!!!

May just might be the biggest. :)

So earlier this month I went through a week of each day pretty jam packed of things to do.

I had my birthday and turned another year older. YAY!! Not feeling like I should be this old already.

THEN!!! I had an incredible . . . . PERFECT 5 year anniversary of when I got married to my eternal companion, Jason. :) This year we had decided to keep things cheap and low cost. No special trip to celebrate. Just keeping it local and easy. I have an amaZing cousin who watched our boys for us so we could have a little celebration though. We were able to go to the temple and do sealings and then go out for dinner at Olive Garden using a gift card Jason had received from Christmas.  Leaving only the tip and a few extra dollars for us to pay for. Jason, my wonderful, handsome, sweet and smart husband . . . . he gave me the best gift for our anniversary that he's ever given me.

He wrote me a song. I love music! I LOVE it when he sings! Then he wrote me A SONG!!! Wowzers!!!

Not necessarily the notes and music. But he took the music and put his own words to it. HE MADE ME CRY!!! I love his singing voice, that man is quite humble and shy when it comes to who hears his voice but he makes me melt when he sings!! He goofs off a lot in singing, but he is incredible!! When he had me listen to the recording of the song, it was full of emotion and love! The lyrics he put together were incredible and touched my heart. He is not perfect and neither am I. But our love for each other runs deep and is continually growing.

Now . . . this week is already busy and exciting . . . but it gets even better. :) I had my 3rd darling baby boy.

Now on the 7th of May, he dropped sometime in the night. I woke up in the morning and was switching from mildly uncomfortable to being in a lot of pain. He was putting pressure on my tail bone which hurt . . . TONS!!! I also saw my Dr. that day. He let me know that the next day he was taking his mother out to go golfing which they do every year for a mother's day present. I was fine with that and told my little boy he can't come that day . . . .  HA!!!! So for the rest of the day, I was in a lot of pain from him being in that position that I had to use my breathing exercises to endure it. Sometime around midnight, I realized that my stomach was tight during one of my 'deep breathing' sessions. I slightly panicked. I looked at the time and kept track. I did this for quite a while, praying that they would stop . . . . . Nope, they didn't. I hadn't realized when labor had started, but it did, and I was anxious. At some point I told Jason, and didn't sleep a wink for the rest of the night because I had to focus on breathing and attempting to relax.

When the kids woke up, we did our best to keep me down and not active, hoping to delay the need to go to the hospital. We thought we could control the contractions. RIGHT!! I was thinking I would have our baby sometime that night or the following morning. So so funny. Our little boy was more impatient and wanting to get here sooner. I had texted and called people who previously said they could watch the boys while Jason and I were in the hospital. People were either sick, their kids were sick or no one answered. At the beginning I wasn't too worried, we had hours before we needed them as the contractions were only 11 minutes apart. But as I tried to relax and deal with them, I soon noticed they were coming faster and I was in more pain. Only 7-8 minutes in between them. I told Jason we would need to go to the hospital sooner than planned and should have someone here after we put the kids down for a nap. Another hour later and I told him we need someone to watch the kids now, as they were 5 minutes apart and we had to leave. Only, we still didn't have contact with anyone who could. I was nervous and stressed. I finally had Jason call his parents to come down to be with the boys, only, they were still an hour away. They said they could come down, and I quickly tried to find someone to watch them until they got to us. I was able to find a wonderful lady in our ward who heard the desperation in my voice and was able to watch them for a bit. She showed up and Jason and I left a little after 11. I had been in contact with my mom earlier that day and kept her up to date on what was going on and told her to head down as I was in need of her support and comfort as a mother can give. The time at the hospital was anything but easy, but with Jason and an amazing nurse, they helped me get through most of it. My mom was able to show up just in time as I needed a little more patience through the pain.

On May 8th, 2015 at 12:46 and only 2 pushes (for those who care to know) Vincent Marc Wilber was born. 7 pounds and 12 ounces, with a length of 19 inches. He was perfect!!!! I held him and was super happy and content and in complete awe. It is an extremely difficult thing to describe quite how I felt. As I feel when I have babies, they are my little miracles. Angels who come down to be part of my family. With this birth, I felt like I had more of a spiritual heavenly experience. I love LOVE being a mother! Adding Vincent to our family now, was exactly what was supposed to happen. :)

My 3 musketeers!! :)

Our crazy awesome family. :)

Balance

I can't give a really good reason for why I haven't blogged in forever. I could say I was busy, and I was, but that isn't the whole truth. Lazy? Maybe. Forgot I had a blog? That was a huge chunk of it. Until I had a friend tell me that she loved reading my blog posts and missed me writing the goings on in my life. Also I had several other friends who took up blogging and that reminded me that I had one too. So I am at it once again! But I'm not only doing it for those who happen to want to read this, but I am doing it for me.

I have realized I missed it. It was actually a lot like therapy for me. It also has helped me remember things as I re-read my thoughts, feelings and past events in my life.

I am also doing it for my children. Even though the chances are slim, they might actually be interested in what I write.

I have over the past few weeks, changed my daily tasks to improve my life and that of my family. Trying to attain a balance in my life that gives me peace and happiness. Still cleaned, but tried to not overwork myself and yet not let the house look like a tornado swept through. Improved my daily prayer and scripture habits, and couple prayer/scripture study with Jason. Also, added some fun new activities for the boys to do that will help their creativity, and have them end up with the smiley faces that I adore.

But I am lacking in me time. Yet another reason, I am taking up blogging again. Because I enjoy it!

In a few weeks, my life will yet again have me struggle to find a new balance . . .

Why?

I am happy and excited to say, my boys will be joined by another wonderful little boy. My three Wilber musketeers. :) I still can't believe I will be having my third child so soon. His due date is May 15th, not long after my birthday and my 5th anniversary to being sealed for time and all eternity to Jason. But I know with all my heart, that he's meant to be here at this time.

Life will continue to always be busy and so many things to do, especially with a new little one on the way, but I will find some time to write and try to keep a happy balance in my life. :)

Welcome to the last trimester!!

Woot! I am here, another mile stone accomplished. Honestly, this pregnancy has been a WHOLE lot easier than when I was pregnant with Alyx. He was tough on me. Heartburn like CRAZY!!! Every day eating tums throughout the day and sometimes if it wasn't enough I made myself throw up just to get rid of the burning because nothing worked. He kicked me a lot in the ribs too. He also didn't like me eating bananas. haha.

Now this little baby boy, completely different. He likes resting lower in me so I hardly have heartburn. Maybe once a week or so . . . if that. Also last night was the first time I had some minor pain as he decided to give a little kick to my ribs. But where he generally stays away from my ribs, he still is quite the active little guy. :)

I count my lucky stars that so far, everything is going well and I have made it this far. Not like I've been extremely worried that I wouldn't, but just that because of what happened earlier this year and me losing a baby kinda made me just a little more cautious. I am so happy that I'm pregnant again, or around this time, it could've been a lot harder for me to deal with. With my last baby, I was due in about a week and a half. So I am counting my lucky stars I have another baby. Making it to the third trimester has been a prayer I have kept in my heart.

I know I am blessed. I have a good and happy life. I have a wonderful, dedicated, and loving husband who is a fantastic father and he is gifted with smarts in many languages. I already have a son who is constantly making me smile and laugh and growing up so quickly. Now I have the joy to have another son, a baby to hold in my arms again. Someone who will help me heal the part of my mother heart that has been broken and not quite fixed. I am super excited to meet my new baby boy. :) My William.

100 days!!

I can now start the REAL countdown till my due date. :)

No more triple digits after today. To me, that means it will go by a lot faster. 90's, 80's and so on days till I meet my new little baby boy. I am thrilled!! :)  . . . of course I'm scared and nervous too, but that's only natural and I'm sure after a few weeks I'll get the hang of being a mom to two children, both boys. :)

I'm also curious, because of course generally everyone thinks their kids are the cutest . . . and I for one can not be blamed for thinking I have the cutest boy. lol. So now, how is this new baby boy going to compare? I think that he will be just as cute as Alyx. Sooo, it will have to probably end up being a tie. I'll have the top TWO cutest boys in the world!!!! lol. :) Well I actually have to say three, since Jason should be included, but he's more of a handsome man. ;) But he is pretty cute when he's playing around with Alyx. Whether it's building blocks with him, reading books, or any other fun cute thing they do together, I'm excited to see this family have our new addition and grow and join on in the Wilber fun.

Way excited! SUPER EXCITED!

Can you tell? I'm just a little excited. lol. Like ALOT!!!

Tomorrow I'm finding out if I'm having another son, or my first daughter!! WOOT!!

I have had a countdown since I set the appointment up, and then with each passing week I frequently celebrated that I was that much closer to finding out the gender of my baby. Then when it got to one week, I of course was counting the few days left.

Now I'm just down to a matter of hours!!!

Really! I believe I'm just as excited about finding out about this baby as I was when I found out about Alyx. The difference is, I'm going to keep it a secret for two days!! Which will be hard since I'll be dying to let people know. But I want to tell our parents and siblings in person, in a special way. hee hee. :)

A lot of people ask me what I'm hoping for, honestly? A girl, but if it's a boy I'm super stoked too!

When it comes down to it. I really really just want my baby. I love being a mom. It is super fun and makes me happy. Not like it's easy and it can be frustrating at times. But it is sooo what I was meant to be. :) I love kids, and adore my little Alyx and am way attached to this baby I will soon put a name to . . . that is if it's a girl. We're not cement on a boy name yet. But that's ok, we got some time. :)

I'll probably give you guys an update in a few days about what we're having after we tell family.

Update on my breaking news

So if you read my last post and could read Spanish or translated it online, you know that I am pregnant again for the third time. 

YAY!!! 

I am so incredibly blessed to have this baby. I'm feeling much better too . . . sometimes. lol. I only got sick once so far but having to eat is still a pain as I don't feel like eating most the time and I had my first night of this pregnancy heartburn. Ugh. But with every day and every week that I'm still pregnant and well, I count my lucky stars and become more and more excited. 

I'm now almost 15 weeks which means in another 5 weeks or so I will find out if Alyx is having a sister or a brother. :) 

I am hoping for a girl, but if it's a boy I will be extremely happy too, as long as they're healthy and well. But I do really want a daughter. ;) I already have her name picked out. Jason and I kinda struggle with boy names that we love but we have a few good names picked out and that we're closing in on. 

I also am teaching Alyx and trying to get him to say baby. I talk to him often about how he's going to be a big brother and ask him if he knows if he's having a sister or a brother. One of my favorite things about being pregnant again is how Jason wraps his arms around me and rests his hand on where our baby is. It's so sweet and I think our baby likes it too. It always seems to relax and soothe me as well. Occasionally he will try to listen for the heartbeat to which I'll laugh or he will kiss my tummy. I love my husband so much! :) He is so wonderful to me and a fantastic father to our son Alyx. I can't believe how I ended up with such a wonderful and growing family. :)

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

All these pictures are sooo cute, but then again it's Alyx, couldn't go wrong with him. :) But in case you can't read the text on his shirt I'll let you know what it says in Spanish.

Soy el hermano mayor. 

Need I say more? :) 

 . . . . .

Well I guess it is in another language, but it's still not that hard to figure out. ;) Use the internet.

April Fools, this is not a joke

What I'm about to say, is all in seriousness.

On April Fools day, I was planning on telling my family that I was pregnant. People do that kind of thing all the time on April Fools day. Some people would believe them, some people knew it would be just a joke. This is what I was counting on, people thinking it was just a joke, but the joke would be that it was the truth. So we would really fool them. It was supposed to be a wonderful day, and we would enjoy General Conference together and have a great time.

Life sometimes doesn't go the way you want it to.

Almost a week and a half before April 1st, my pregnancy took a nasty painful turn. I lost my baby.

I remember when Jason and I went to the hospital, I couldn't stop crying during the ultrasound. I prayed and prayed while trying to wipe the tears from my face. I pictured my Grandma Taylor (my mom's mom) who had died when I was seven, comforting me. I held onto that feeling through the process. I know now that my spirit had known then that my baby was gone while my physical self was still holding onto hope that my baby would be ok. Later the doctor called and gave me the sad news.

I wasn't super far along, but I was still super attached to that baby inside of me. When we lost our baby, I was very confused. Months and months ago, I had received thoughts and impressions from the Spirit that told me we were supposed to have another child. So I trusted in the Lord, Jason and I prayed and felt good in what was to come. When we found out we were pregnant, we were very excited and happy. We were teaching Alyx to say baby and looking at baby names. So it was very difficult to understand why we lost our baby when we were told that we should have another one. Our pain was immense and still is to some degree. But we prayed for help and understanding. I had a blessing that was exactly what I needed. I wrote down my thoughts and feelings, those words turned into the poem The day I hold you.

It still is hard for me to know that my baby is gone. We might never know why exactly I lost the baby, but I'm holding onto the thoughts that I'll have that baby come back to me someday. Maybe I went through this experience because the baby's body had something wrong with it, or that I might be able to help others who go through the same thing as I did. But whatever reason it was, I know that I will be able to have kids still and  that it wasn't my fault.

I wrote this because I needed to write it down, to express my sorrow and heartache. To get it out there and maybe show that my life is not always happy. That I go through trials too. I am not so strong as people think I am. But I am doing my best and living life. 

Waking up in the night . . . once again

This morning I woke up to the sounds of my baby boy, Alyxander, playing around and talking to himself in his baby language that only he could understand. I was enjoying his cute little noises for almost an hour, despite the time (around 3 to 4 o'clock). While I was waiting for him to either fall asleep or cry, I remembered of another time I was woken up way too early, but for different reasons. (Just to warn those who don't like detailed long stories, this is one of them.)   : )

About 12 weeks ago, I was woken up by my son kicking me in my side, (I was still pregnant). I looked at the time and I vaguely remember it being around 4 in the morning. I was trying to get back to sleep and get comfortable again when my lower stomach area got tight. It was a little more intense than Braxton Hicks. But it wasn't too painful that I was worried it'd be the real thing. A little while later it happened again. I breathed and got through it once more. It wasn't until that it happened a few more times that I really started paying attention to how long the pain was lasting and the length of time between. It took over an hour to convince me that what I was going through, wasn't just some practice runs of Braxton Hicks. I was having contractions!

I was trying to think if I should wake Jason up and tell him what was going on. He and his father were supposed to go skiing that day and we had gone up to his parents house that weekend for that purpose. I knew Jason needed a vacation from work, school and me pretty badly so I let him continue to sleep. He woke up sometime later and I decided I needed to tell him, but that he should go about his plans for that day anyway. It was about 6 or so when I told him that we were going to have our baby soon. He didn't freak out or anything, but he wasn't really thinking he should go skiing if I was having contractions. I convinced him that he should go, as the first stage of labor can be pretty long and that we'd have plenty of time to get to the hospital after he came back. He tried to get some more sleep but just ended up staying awake with me while I endured the pain.

 I was soon getting hungry and needed to eat something, also didn't want Jason to see me in pain so I left the bedroom to go snack on something. I poured myself some cereal and quickly ate it up. Relaxing on the couch, I was trying to breathe when Mike, Jason's dad came into the room. Surprised that I was awake that early he asked if I was ok and if Jason was awake and getting ready to go. I told him that Jason has been awake for a while and getting some more rest. Also that I have been awake for a few hours and been having contractions but they weren't too close to be worried about. Mike went and woke up Diane, my mother in-law, to have her talk to me to see if I was really having them or not. While I tried calling my mom. With no answer I left her a message telling her to call me back. Diane then came down and talked to me and I told her about the past few hours.

Jason left with his dad an hour later to go skiing. Diane had told Mike that this wasn't false labor and I had spoken to Jason. Telling him not to worry about me, to have fun and be careful. Especially when his baby was going to be on his way. I had eventually gotten through to my mom and repeated the story of that morning again. Still needing to get a few things for my baby boy, my mother and mother in law, as well as my sisters and brother went shopping with me, while I was having contractions. haha. I kept track of the time as the contractions seemed to be getting slightly more painful but not getting any closer. Jason also checked in with me once in a while.

After shopping and with Mike and Jason coming home early, my husband and I started our long 1 hour stretch home. Praying that traffic wouldn't be too bad and that the ride home would be as smooth as possible, because of how sensitive I had become over every tiny bump since that morning. We ended up leaving to go to the hospital around 8. The pain had gotten worse and the contractions were 4 minutes apart. We were almost off the freeway went our car started having major problems and completely died when we got off the exit. I started to panic, I was in labor and knew I couldn't walk to the hospital, even if it was a few blocks away. We tried figuring out what was wrong, but with no luck. We ended up calling Brandon, Jason's brother for help. Before he got to us, a stranger stopped and helped jump start our car, if only to get us to the hospital. By the time our car was running, Brandon had arrived. He and the stranger followed us to the hospital where our car once again died.

I was admitted but through the stress of the car, my contractions were not coming fast enough for me to stay and progress. I was only dilated to a 2. By this time my mother was also with me and we were trying to figure out what to do. One of my kind cousins lived by, one that I had not even met till then, Jennifer was kind enough to let us borrow her car, to get back home and to get around till our car was fixed. So we went back home about 10 in her car and my mom also drove back home. I had gotten a nasty shot to help me sleep, but several hours later, I found myself waking up once again and going to the hospital. We called and let my mom know, she came down again, found out I was at a 3 and we stayed at the hospital for two more hours trying to progress.

Once more we were sent home, this time my mom spent the rest of the night at our place. When Jason, my mom and I had woken up, we were getting through the day and discussing what we should do to speed up my contractions. As much pain as I was in, I was getting tired of having them. So we decided after lunch we would walk around the mall. I wasn't too hungry then and only had a few slices of an apple and was waiting for Jason and my mom to finish. It was around then that I had become aware that I was in so much pain and that the contractions were so close that I could only walk a few feet in between each stopping and starting time. I knew we had to get to the hospital, and I did NOT want to go to a mall and walk around. When we finally got to the hospital for the 3rd time. It took me a little more than 5 minutes to walk across a small parking lot. Once inside I got in a wheelchair. They quickly got me to a room. We later found out I was at an 8!!!

Sadly my doctor wasn't in town that day, so we had a standby doctor who ended up being awful and all business like. But the thing that made it worth it, was that an hour and a half or so later at 3:23 p.m. with the help of my husband, mom and kind nurses. My baby boy was born, without me needing an epidural and he was and still is as perfect as he can be.