Now I know it's not quite Christmas yet, but that doesn't mean I haven't been on the receiving end already.
This past week my little family has been plagued with all kinds of coughs. Good news is that they are all getting better but because we've been dealing with sickness while with family this Holiday, Jason and I haven't slept well. We finally decided to go home early so that we can rest easy and get some good sleep. Roads were thankfully clear and no accidents happened. 1st gift, safety! :) Our boys are returning to their normal selves before they were sick so just a few more days and hopefully everything will be cleared up. My sweet husband has let me take naps to catch up on missed sleep while he takes care of the little ones. 2nd gift, caring husband (although that hasn't changed since I met him, he's wonderful to me)! 3rd, sleep!
I was holding my baby boy, although not much of a baby anymore, he's crawling and jabbers quite a bit when he's super happy. I was remembering how last year I learned I was to be a mother of 3 darling boys. I am so happy for having my children with Jason and I as we progress in our life together. 4th, my family!
But there is a Christmas gift that I don't want to go into a lot of detail about receiving because it super special to me. It is an incredible, wondrous experience that I will get to have with Jason in a few months. I found out last night and I was so happy that I was shaking.
Last night my little family and I ate dinner, enjoyed hot chocolate and watched "The Santa Clause", tonight we will bake cookies, have the children unwrap their first gifts, sing carols, and read of the reason we celebrate Christmas. The story of Christ's birth.
I hope everyone stays safe, and has a very Merry Christmas!!! :)
Love my family!
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Life's curveballs
There are some things in life that are unexpected, and it can be coming from anything, anywhere, anytime, and anyone, whether it's thrown from family, friends, neighbors or stangers, and if you watch carefully, sometimes you can see them coming. But there are times you're not prepared for the speed from whence they came. It can be pretty slow at first but than ZOOM!! It is right in front of you and you're in shock at it being there already.
A few things have been happening the past year and all I could do was swing and pray I could hit that difficult ball. There are a few times I have striked out and broken down, a few foul balls, and once in a while I can hit that ball and run a base or two. I'm not powerful enough and haven't found the timing yet to hit a homerun, but I'm just doing the best that I can.
I have tried multiple times and varieties of ways of handling and dealing with the curveballs life throws at me. But there isn't just one way to deal with them. You have to approach each situation a little differently, but always with care. You can't just charge and swing the bat as hard and fast as you can or you might completely miss the ball and be hitting nothing but the air and feel like a fool. Patience, placement, timing, a bit of force, and lots of prayers can help a lot.
A few things have been happening the past year and all I could do was swing and pray I could hit that difficult ball. There are a few times I have striked out and broken down, a few foul balls, and once in a while I can hit that ball and run a base or two. I'm not powerful enough and haven't found the timing yet to hit a homerun, but I'm just doing the best that I can.
I have tried multiple times and varieties of ways of handling and dealing with the curveballs life throws at me. But there isn't just one way to deal with them. You have to approach each situation a little differently, but always with care. You can't just charge and swing the bat as hard and fast as you can or you might completely miss the ball and be hitting nothing but the air and feel like a fool. Patience, placement, timing, a bit of force, and lots of prayers can help a lot.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Motherhood
Sometimes I get down on myself as I look around me and see all my sisters and girlfriends pass me as they get more and more education and develop their jobs and careers. They're super smart and intelligent and able to help others using their knowledge that they've gained. I feel quite low on the importance chain and feel like I don't help my husband enough. Looking forward to when my kids go to school so I can go back to school and work and start helping my husband and the world in some way. . . .
A few weeks ago, I felt like this and Jason let me know what he thought, telling me that if I got paid to do everything I did, I would earn way more than what he was making. That I am an amazing mother and an incredible wife. Hearing him say that helped a bit and made me feel more of worth.
This funk I get into happens now and then as I forget what has been said about the role of motherhood and the work I actually do every day for my boys.
A little over a week ago, my mom sent me a quote in an email.
"No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan."
- Strong and Faithful by Quentin L. Cook
That day I wasn't necessarily pounding myself into the ground but after reading that, my day seemed to get better as I remembered I am doing exactly what I should. That Heavenly Father wants me to be a mother of my children and that I am doing a great and marvelous work.
Being a mom is far from easy and can't be called a relaxing job. We are constantly cleaning, feeding, playing with and teaching our kids. There's so much to be done, that sometimes my house becomes a disaster while I am taking care of my kids. But I am fine with my house being dirty now and then because I am helping my kids and creating memories with them. I am doing what I am supposed to do and need to remember that I shouldn't feel bad about that. :)
Sunday, December 6, 2015
RS Christmas Party
Last Thursday, we had our ward's RS (Relief Society) Christmas Party. It was beautiful!! Yummy food, awesome friends and company, and a wonderful message of Christ's birth. There was also some musical numbers. . . . I happened to participate in one of them. Let me tell you, I love love LOVE to SING!!!
But in front of others? Not in a big group? It does become more difficult for me. My nervousness increases and I'm bound to make more mistakes. Lots more than when I'm singing in a group of 5 or more. I rarely ever do solos. Duets I can handle a little more because there is another voice besides my own. But depending on the song, sometimes it is just my own voice for a little bit. A lady in my ward who I don't know very well got paired up with me, we decided to sing a beautiful arrangement of "Still, Still, Still", if you have never heard it before, I urge you to listen to it. This song wasn't so difficult with the words and a bit of the tune as I have sung it before when I was in the Institute Choir at SLCC called Sounding Joy. But with it being only a 2 part, SA, it was different. I had to work hard to get the notes and rhythms right.
The night of the Christmas party I was a bundle of nerves and was terrified of messing up. The sweet lady who was singing with me, told me I would be fine and told me she had prayed for me!! I was amazed that she had done that for me!! I felt horrible to realize I had not prayed for help either on me singing my part, or to help me calm down, or I didn't think about praying for her or our accompanist. She and another friend helped me run through my trouble spot in the song and calmed me down. We ended up doing fantastic, I still made mistakes, but continued on anyway without sounding too bad. The end of the night, I thought about what we had just done. Sharing our talents with others. Even though it scares the crap out of me to do something like that, I had been given this gift for a reason and not sharing it wouldn't be a kind thing to do for my Heavenly Father who had given it to me.
Wanted to share this video with you that I watched that night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrLoWt2tfqg
But in front of others? Not in a big group? It does become more difficult for me. My nervousness increases and I'm bound to make more mistakes. Lots more than when I'm singing in a group of 5 or more. I rarely ever do solos. Duets I can handle a little more because there is another voice besides my own. But depending on the song, sometimes it is just my own voice for a little bit. A lady in my ward who I don't know very well got paired up with me, we decided to sing a beautiful arrangement of "Still, Still, Still", if you have never heard it before, I urge you to listen to it. This song wasn't so difficult with the words and a bit of the tune as I have sung it before when I was in the Institute Choir at SLCC called Sounding Joy. But with it being only a 2 part, SA, it was different. I had to work hard to get the notes and rhythms right.
The night of the Christmas party I was a bundle of nerves and was terrified of messing up. The sweet lady who was singing with me, told me I would be fine and told me she had prayed for me!! I was amazed that she had done that for me!! I felt horrible to realize I had not prayed for help either on me singing my part, or to help me calm down, or I didn't think about praying for her or our accompanist. She and another friend helped me run through my trouble spot in the song and calmed me down. We ended up doing fantastic, I still made mistakes, but continued on anyway without sounding too bad. The end of the night, I thought about what we had just done. Sharing our talents with others. Even though it scares the crap out of me to do something like that, I had been given this gift for a reason and not sharing it wouldn't be a kind thing to do for my Heavenly Father who had given it to me.
Wanted to share this video with you that I watched that night. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrLoWt2tfqg
Monday, November 23, 2015
Being thankful for the big and small
Sometimes we take things for granted, and then when Thanksgiving comes, we start naming things we're grateful for which is fantastic!
But we should be grateful for things year round.
Also when we think of things that we're thankful for, do you think about the little things too? You can list family, friends, and stuff around you but what about the very specific stuff?
I know I am so thankful for Jason's gift of languages, mostly Spanish, as that is how we connected. I'm thankful for his patience with me, his love for me, and forever thankful that he rescued me in the darkest time of my life. I'm thankful for his love of music, which we constantly bring up and 'argue' who loves music more. I'm also thankful for my boys, each one of their smiles, and the sound of their laughter. The fact that no one has been jealous when a new sibling comes into the family is a complete blessing.
Those are just a few things that I'm thankful for my little Wilbermen family.
I'm also thankful for my angel mother. She has and is one of my bestest friends ever!! She has supported me and been there for me when others have not. We hardly fought in my years growing up with her and I've always looked up to her. I'm thankful for her kindness, and love of music. I'm thankful for her goofiness, as she taught me it is ok to be silly, all of which she learned from her mother. But the most important thing she taught me, is that I am a daughter of God and and to love the gospel.
I am thankful for all my friends, for a reason or another. There are too many wonderful friends to try to name them all or what they've done. But just know that I have been extremely blessed to have true friends who care and have/still do help me.
I am also thankful for warm water. :)
Music.
Sports.
Sunrises and sunsets.
Waterfalls.
When it is raining and there are puddles for me to jump in. :)
Flowers.
When strangers do kind things for each other.
For all my senses.
My health.
Animals, more specifically, horses and dogs. :)
The color blue!! lol.
The ability to go to school.
Books.
Milk and cookies.
Being a stay at home mom!!!!
I could go on and on, but I dunno if you would really be interested. :) If there is one thing that you really need to know I am thankful for, it would be this.
None of this would be possible without Jesus Christ, our older brother, Savior and Redeemer and our Heavenly Father and his wondrous and perfect plan. I know I will be able to live with my loved ones after death if I am doing my best and repent from my sins. I am sealed to Jason for all eternity because we got married in the temple. Life would be unbearable without the knowlege that I have. I am so happy! My life is far from perfect and easy, but I am happy! I love my family and our adventures in everyday life. Remember to be thankful, but also to be grateful. Show your gratitude and be happy. :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Busy busy me
I feel like these past months have flown by so fast! Almost 3 months since my last post. But with moving to a new place and lots of cleaning, than unpacking and making a new mess just to get settled into our new home with 3 kids . . . I think it's understandable, at least to me. :)
We love our new ward! It's close to one of our favorite wards of all time. We also love our new home! It's the closest we've ever come to the feeling of home. Alyx was in his first primary program and made me cry a little. He was so adorable! Alyx started going to some Zumba junior dance classes which he loves! I have also tried out Zumba and love LOVE it as well! I started going to some awesome workout classes with a new awesome friend of mine every week and it has helped the athlete in me. Now if only I was in a regular choir again for the musician part of me. :)
This year for Halloween, we did a Peter Pan theme.
This year for Halloween, we did a Peter Pan theme.
Jason - Peter Pan
Myself - Wendy
Alyx - Captain Hook
William - Smee
Vincent - the awesome crocodile!
Jason surprised me with a dozen red roses as he and I celebrated our 5 and a half years of being married. Vincent is 6 months now and had a great first cc cookie eating experience. :) Jason and I FINALLY were asked to give a talk in sacrament meeting, our 1st talk as husband and wife. We talked on "How to deal with tribulation". I was incredibly nervous and unsure of myself but I did my best to rely on the Holy Ghost and it seemed that from what people said, that I actually was able to help someone. Jason, of course, did amazing and was calm and delivered a powerful talk. A week ago we had to get a special helmet for Vincent's head to help re-shape it. He is super cute, helmet, or no helmet. :) Vincent also had his first tooth break through and experienced snow for the first time. I've been trying once in a while to help Alyx and William learn Spanish and I think it's starting to sink in. Alyx loves singing the Spanish color song and has been asking for 'agua' several times each week. I've been searching on Pinterest (LOVE that site) for free worksheets and activities to help Alyx and William learn things that would be taught in Preschool or Kindergarten.
Alyx is super excited for Christmas to come and I have to keep reminding him Thanksgiving needs to come first. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends next week. There are lots of people that I miss seeing and it sucks we have to be so far away. :( I look forward to the day we will get a second car and I can drive more with the boys to see people I love and be more free instead of staying inside the house all the time.
It's hard to talk about everything that has happened that's important to me, or my thoughts and feelings with everything that is going on in the world, or my life. But as far as catching up goes, I think I did pretty well for now. I'll get back to writing more often again.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Living my life by Faith
This past month has been filled with anxiety, worry and frustration. Ups and downs as explained by my last post. But I'm happy to report that our prayers have been answered and we are quite happy and excited. :) Jason is not jobless and we are not homeless.
It made us worry, after what happened with Alabama, about what we would do with our little family. Needing to find a new place to live and not having a job potentially took a leap of faith. We constantly reminded each other to have faith and that everything would work out. There was a day when I wasn't at my best or even in a good mood and I was super stressed. The boys were happy and content at the moment and Jason turned some music on his phone and took me in his arms and started leading me in a dance. That made me smile and laugh. The older boys stopped what they were doing and watched their mommy and daddy danced and smiled. I was super grateful for Jason helping me out of the pit of misery I was in.
Each day and night we prayed as a family, couple and in our individual prayers to figure out what we needed to do. Where we needed to go to live. We did our best to choose the right, and to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
About a week and a half ago, Jason received an email from a Professor at BYU who told Jason that room had been made for some new classes to be opened and meant Jason would be able to teach this fall. We were thrilled!! Not long after that we were able to put a deposit down for a new home that was actually pretty close to what we needed and wanted.
There's a quote that has been one of my favorites that I try to apply to my life.
"When we choose to follow Christ in faith rather than choosing another path out of fear, we are blessed with a consequence that is consistent with our choice."
- Quentin L. Cook
Life is hardly easy, but our attitudes and actions help whether things can get better or more difficult. Jason and I are far from perfect and we do make mistakes, but we also strive to do our best and follow Jesus Christ. I have personally found I am happier and more at peace when I am doing what is right, knowing that Heavenly Father will bless me and not having fear.
It made us worry, after what happened with Alabama, about what we would do with our little family. Needing to find a new place to live and not having a job potentially took a leap of faith. We constantly reminded each other to have faith and that everything would work out. There was a day when I wasn't at my best or even in a good mood and I was super stressed. The boys were happy and content at the moment and Jason turned some music on his phone and took me in his arms and started leading me in a dance. That made me smile and laugh. The older boys stopped what they were doing and watched their mommy and daddy danced and smiled. I was super grateful for Jason helping me out of the pit of misery I was in.
Each day and night we prayed as a family, couple and in our individual prayers to figure out what we needed to do. Where we needed to go to live. We did our best to choose the right, and to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
About a week and a half ago, Jason received an email from a Professor at BYU who told Jason that room had been made for some new classes to be opened and meant Jason would be able to teach this fall. We were thrilled!! Not long after that we were able to put a deposit down for a new home that was actually pretty close to what we needed and wanted.
There's a quote that has been one of my favorites that I try to apply to my life.
"When we choose to follow Christ in faith rather than choosing another path out of fear, we are blessed with a consequence that is consistent with our choice."
- Quentin L. Cook
Life is hardly easy, but our attitudes and actions help whether things can get better or more difficult. Jason and I are far from perfect and we do make mistakes, but we also strive to do our best and follow Jesus Christ. I have personally found I am happier and more at peace when I am doing what is right, knowing that Heavenly Father will bless me and not having fear.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Rollercoaster life
The past few weeks have seen some huge highs and some very very down lows. :(
I know life can't always be up and up but really. I need a break.
A few weeks ago, life looked great and my husband had even been told he would teach three classes at BYU which is exactly what we wanted. Then one day he got a call . . . . from a university down in Alabama, one of the many places that were seeking a Spanish teacher and he applied to. They wanted to interview him!!! So we were naturally thrilled and he prepared for it and told BYU about the interviews. He of course did great, (I know I might be a little biased, but he is really REALLY good at languages.) he told me what they asked him, what he said and so on. The next day they wanted a 2nd interview! We were even happier. We started imagining life down South and had things we started to look forward to, like a HOUSE! :) They said we should know by the end of that week if he had it or not. A few days passed and they emailed him saying they wanted to skype interview him two more times the next week. We were still excited but more reserved. Their school starts about the middle of August. Leaving us only a week and a half to pack up and move if he got the job. It made me very nervous and sad thinking about the little time I would have to say goodbye to my family, friends and favorite places in my home state. His 3rd and 4th interview came and went and two more days passed till we heard from them. I was in a foul mood and irritated we had waited so long to know whether or not he had the job. Basically knowing if he had the job we would need everything in a moving truck in a week. He left for work on Friday still not knowing. Later that day he called me telling me he didn't have the job and felt relieved.
People don't normally celebrate and feel happy after being told they didn't have the job and being so close to being chosen and offered a full time job with great benefits. But I did oddly enough. I didn't mind having more time in Utah. I know eventually we will leave but in a better circumstance I would hope than packing everything in a week and moving with 3 young boys across the country. lol.
Later that day Jason's attitude was changed as he felt depressed at not having a full time job and securing and providing for our future. I reminded him of how he felt earlier when he got the news and I told him that our future was secure. As long as we were doing our best, putting our trust in Heavenly Father and moving forward with faith, he would help us! Heavenly Father knows where we need to be and if we stayed strong in the gospel, the Holy Ghost would guide us and protect us.
With Alabama taking so long to tell us the outcome, things had changed. BYU may not be able to give Jason a job. Where before he could have had 3 classes, we will be lucky with 1 or 2. Also, besides maybe not having a job, we are searching for a new place to call home. Originally looking for larger places to accommodate our growing family. We are now downsizing and looking at smaller and cheaper homes to rent taking in the fact Jason might not be making as much as he would like.
Yet, in the midst of searching for jobs and homes and other problems in our life. I have found reasons to smile.
My darling and wonderful husband and our boys. I am soo in love with them. I'm grateful to not have to worry about having a husband who is a picky eater, or who is abusive, or who cheats or puts me down. He is kind, loving, works hard and is making me laugh almost every day. Also my little men. They make me so grateful to be a mom. I never imagined anything more rewarding than raising children. Also last night when I was so tired and drained from worry about everything going on, little Vince woke up and when I went to pick him up, he smiled at me. Oh those super adorable smiles of his!! He made me smile and feel so much better. I love cuddling with him and holding him in my arms. I have such an incredible little family, that despite all the problems and lows in my life, my men are my rays of sunshine. :)
Friday, July 17, 2015
Happiness in training
I've been training for my second half marathon for about 4 weeks now and I have only 1 week left!! I have been kicking my butt in gear. Normally I would take more time to train and get ready, but I wanted to do a cheap half marathon and wanted to do it in a city that wasn't out of my way. So I looked up the half marathons happening while I was still pregnant and found the best one for me! It starts and ends in my hometown and I invited my mom to do it with me. She accepted and has been doing fantastic!! 9 miles in an hour and 28 minutes is not easy at all. I have had to listen to my body, not wanting to kill myself running, but needing to push just enough to change and adapt. I have been changing as I notice I can run longer without stopping and going farther distances. I also have been thankfully dropping the weight that I gained from my pregnancy. No fun when you don't fit in your normal or maternity clothes. Grr. Sucks to be in between sizes. But hopefully give it one more month and I'll be close to my old self . . . except stronger and more fit.
There has been another kind of training going on . . . POTTY TRAINING!! I'm happy to say Alyx is finally potty trained. Even lasting the entire night without an accident. It is such a relief not to have to worry about changing him anymore. A few days ago I had to buy more diapers and it made me happy to think about how long they will last without Alyx using them. My first kid successfully potty trained! :)
But whatever it is that training is for, it generally takes a lot of time and tons of patience and help from others. There are times when I have broken down crying from frustration and get mad at myself for not being better. Sometimes, all I really need is a break from whatever it is I'm working on. Just to give me a breather. Or with Alyx I waited for him to get a little older. Structure is important however. We not only need breaks, we need someone to support, encourage, and push us a little. Good thing we have family to help us out. :)
But whatever it is that training is for, it generally takes a lot of time and tons of patience and help from others. There are times when I have broken down crying from frustration and get mad at myself for not being better. Sometimes, all I really need is a break from whatever it is I'm working on. Just to give me a breather. Or with Alyx I waited for him to get a little older. Structure is important however. We not only need breaks, we need someone to support, encourage, and push us a little. Good thing we have family to help us out. :)
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Power of my children
Did you know my boys have superpowers?
Well they do . . . . no seriously! I'm not the only one who thinks so.
All children have energy. Some more than others, but no joke, Alyx has ALMOST boundless energy, That kid is hard to tire out!! But not only that, he can turn his puppy dog eyes on you and it is hard to resist his cute little face. I never knew children could learn that at such a young age.
William will amaze you with his love and smiles. His hugs and kisses have great healing powers. I've known scary people melt from his hug. Also when you are in so much pain or really really down, he will cheer you right up. He loves to cuddle, which for me is a VERY important characteristic. I am a HUGE cuddler and sometimes it is very much a need in my life to cuddle with someone I love and who loves me.
Vincent . . . . awww my little sweet baby boy, he has his mother wrapped around his little finger. Close to 2 months and he has such power over me. IT is EXTREMELY difficult for me to put him to bed. I can be super dead tired at night and I'll end up staying up just watching him smile at me. He has been doing more baby babble so we will sometimes have mini conversations too. Or during the daytime, he will just lie against my chest, perfectly happy to sleep there and even when I should be cleaning or doing other things, I'll just let him rest there for a while and I can't get him in his crib!!! He's so freaking adorable and I love holding him! :)
I'm sure that this is just the beginning of their powers as they will learn more with time. They are so dear to me and help Jason and I so much. I never imagined my life could be this wonderful. But I'm happy and look forward to our future. :)
Well they do . . . . no seriously! I'm not the only one who thinks so.
All children have energy. Some more than others, but no joke, Alyx has ALMOST boundless energy, That kid is hard to tire out!! But not only that, he can turn his puppy dog eyes on you and it is hard to resist his cute little face. I never knew children could learn that at such a young age.
William will amaze you with his love and smiles. His hugs and kisses have great healing powers. I've known scary people melt from his hug. Also when you are in so much pain or really really down, he will cheer you right up. He loves to cuddle, which for me is a VERY important characteristic. I am a HUGE cuddler and sometimes it is very much a need in my life to cuddle with someone I love and who loves me.
Vincent . . . . awww my little sweet baby boy, he has his mother wrapped around his little finger. Close to 2 months and he has such power over me. IT is EXTREMELY difficult for me to put him to bed. I can be super dead tired at night and I'll end up staying up just watching him smile at me. He has been doing more baby babble so we will sometimes have mini conversations too. Or during the daytime, he will just lie against my chest, perfectly happy to sleep there and even when I should be cleaning or doing other things, I'll just let him rest there for a while and I can't get him in his crib!!! He's so freaking adorable and I love holding him! :)
I'm sure that this is just the beginning of their powers as they will learn more with time. They are so dear to me and help Jason and I so much. I never imagined my life could be this wonderful. But I'm happy and look forward to our future. :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Father's day, a day of pain and incredible joy
This coming Sunday is Father's day . . . . the only reason I have to celebrate that day is for my incredible husband, the father of my three children.
Jason is fantastic and shows love to our boys. He plays with them, hide and seek, building blocks and towers, throwing ball with them, lifting them up to play airplane/superman. He reads them a book or two almost every night. He is even a Father who is not afraid to change diapers!!! He does so much for them and loves to spoil them. Lately he's taken up beat boxing with William which is super adorable. Alyx and William are daddy's boys and fight over who gets to be on his lap. They always want to be next to him from waking in the morning to when we go for walks and wanting to hold his hand. I know they love me, but they look up to their daddy and adore him. It was also 5 years ago that I told Jason on Father's day that I was pregnant and he was going to become a daddy. :)
It makes me super happy. Seeing Jason taking care of Alyx, William, and Vincent.
For a long time, I have thought about writing about a source of pain in my life. I like to think that I'm strong and not weak. But it just isn't so. So I'm taking a moment to write a small part of the broken little girl inside of me.
I could have been a daddy's girl. For a part of my life, I was. But the hero I once thought my father to be, turned out to be the villain. Wolf in sheep's clothing. Not every biological father acts like a dad. Most of my life I tried to have my father proud of me, I tried to make him happy and wanted him to see me as who I was. But he was constantly trying to mold me into what HE wanted me to be. He constantly hurt my mother, my sisters and myself. I tried my best to stand up to him. I tried to tell him how I felt, my thoughts, my feelings, my desires. He laughed, he yelled at me, he swore, didn't care if he hurt me. The man that was supposed to protect and love me and comfort me. . . was not my father. When trying to do the right things in my life, I did not receive support or happiness from him. All I got were put downs. It killed me. Growing up, I wanted him to see that I was not a little girl anymore. That I was a young woman and out on my own and surviving. I had hopes that he might soften once I was an adult and realize how much he's missed out on. Marriage, kids . . . he broke my heart further by showing no interest in his son in law or grandsons. Only when it made him the spotlight and was in his best interest to make him look good. Not many people know how he really is because he can be really charming and funny.
Even when I turned 25, that morning I broke down crying, and was a bit depressed. Knowing my father didn't care about his firstborn and doesn't put forth any effort to try to have a good relationship with me.
But that is just a small summary of my pain that I normally have tucked away. Hidden. Just know, I don't have perfect life at all. I'm not always happy. But thank goodness I have my wonderful, sweet and loving husband Jason, to rescue me from all the dragons and pain life has thrown me. He is always there for me when I need him. He listens to me, and lets me cry. He makes me feel so totally loved and cared for. Jason makes me happy and feel secure. He works super hard for me and for our children. He is an amazing father and I thank him for that. I am so grateful that he loves kids and is able to support us enough so that I can be a stay at home mom. Even more so is that he wants me to be there for our kids. He shares and supports my personal dreams as I do his. We have dreams that we want to do together. I am so in love with this man of mine and thank Heavenly Father for bringing us together. MY TRUE Father in Heaven who I know loves me as I am his daughter.
Jason is fantastic and shows love to our boys. He plays with them, hide and seek, building blocks and towers, throwing ball with them, lifting them up to play airplane/superman. He reads them a book or two almost every night. He is even a Father who is not afraid to change diapers!!! He does so much for them and loves to spoil them. Lately he's taken up beat boxing with William which is super adorable. Alyx and William are daddy's boys and fight over who gets to be on his lap. They always want to be next to him from waking in the morning to when we go for walks and wanting to hold his hand. I know they love me, but they look up to their daddy and adore him. It was also 5 years ago that I told Jason on Father's day that I was pregnant and he was going to become a daddy. :)
It makes me super happy. Seeing Jason taking care of Alyx, William, and Vincent.
For a long time, I have thought about writing about a source of pain in my life. I like to think that I'm strong and not weak. But it just isn't so. So I'm taking a moment to write a small part of the broken little girl inside of me.
I could have been a daddy's girl. For a part of my life, I was. But the hero I once thought my father to be, turned out to be the villain. Wolf in sheep's clothing. Not every biological father acts like a dad. Most of my life I tried to have my father proud of me, I tried to make him happy and wanted him to see me as who I was. But he was constantly trying to mold me into what HE wanted me to be. He constantly hurt my mother, my sisters and myself. I tried my best to stand up to him. I tried to tell him how I felt, my thoughts, my feelings, my desires. He laughed, he yelled at me, he swore, didn't care if he hurt me. The man that was supposed to protect and love me and comfort me. . . was not my father. When trying to do the right things in my life, I did not receive support or happiness from him. All I got were put downs. It killed me. Growing up, I wanted him to see that I was not a little girl anymore. That I was a young woman and out on my own and surviving. I had hopes that he might soften once I was an adult and realize how much he's missed out on. Marriage, kids . . . he broke my heart further by showing no interest in his son in law or grandsons. Only when it made him the spotlight and was in his best interest to make him look good. Not many people know how he really is because he can be really charming and funny.
Even when I turned 25, that morning I broke down crying, and was a bit depressed. Knowing my father didn't care about his firstborn and doesn't put forth any effort to try to have a good relationship with me.
But that is just a small summary of my pain that I normally have tucked away. Hidden. Just know, I don't have perfect life at all. I'm not always happy. But thank goodness I have my wonderful, sweet and loving husband Jason, to rescue me from all the dragons and pain life has thrown me. He is always there for me when I need him. He listens to me, and lets me cry. He makes me feel so totally loved and cared for. Jason makes me happy and feel secure. He works super hard for me and for our children. He is an amazing father and I thank him for that. I am so grateful that he loves kids and is able to support us enough so that I can be a stay at home mom. Even more so is that he wants me to be there for our kids. He shares and supports my personal dreams as I do his. We have dreams that we want to do together. I am so in love with this man of mine and thank Heavenly Father for bringing us together. MY TRUE Father in Heaven who I know loves me as I am his daughter.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Busy BUSY week!! :)
Life is FULL of adventures and surprises!!!
May just might be the biggest. :)
So earlier this month I went through a week of each day pretty jam packed of things to do.
I had my birthday and turned another year older. YAY!! Not feeling like I should be this old already.
THEN!!! I had an incredible . . . . PERFECT 5 year anniversary of when I got married to my eternal companion, Jason. :) This year we had decided to keep things cheap and low cost. No special trip to celebrate. Just keeping it local and easy. I have an amaZing cousin who watched our boys for us so we could have a little celebration though. We were able to go to the temple and do sealings and then go out for dinner at Olive Garden using a gift card Jason had received from Christmas. Leaving only the tip and a few extra dollars for us to pay for. Jason, my wonderful, handsome, sweet and smart husband . . . . he gave me the best gift for our anniversary that he's ever given me.
He wrote me a song. I love music! I LOVE it when he sings! Then he wrote me A SONG!!! Wowzers!!!
Not necessarily the notes and music. But he took the music and put his own words to it. HE MADE ME CRY!!! I love his singing voice, that man is quite humble and shy when it comes to who hears his voice but he makes me melt when he sings!! He goofs off a lot in singing, but he is incredible!! When he had me listen to the recording of the song, it was full of emotion and love! The lyrics he put together were incredible and touched my heart. He is not perfect and neither am I. But our love for each other runs deep and is continually growing.
Now . . . this week is already busy and exciting . . . but it gets even better. :) I had my 3rd darling baby boy.
Now on the 7th of May, he dropped sometime in the night. I woke up in the morning and was switching from mildly uncomfortable to being in a lot of pain. He was putting pressure on my tail bone which hurt . . . TONS!!! I also saw my Dr. that day. He let me know that the next day he was taking his mother out to go golfing which they do every year for a mother's day present. I was fine with that and told my little boy he can't come that day . . . . HA!!!! So for the rest of the day, I was in a lot of pain from him being in that position that I had to use my breathing exercises to endure it. Sometime around midnight, I realized that my stomach was tight during one of my 'deep breathing' sessions. I slightly panicked. I looked at the time and kept track. I did this for quite a while, praying that they would stop . . . . . Nope, they didn't. I hadn't realized when labor had started, but it did, and I was anxious. At some point I told Jason, and didn't sleep a wink for the rest of the night because I had to focus on breathing and attempting to relax.
When the kids woke up, we did our best to keep me down and not active, hoping to delay the need to go to the hospital. We thought we could control the contractions. RIGHT!! I was thinking I would have our baby sometime that night or the following morning. So so funny. Our little boy was more impatient and wanting to get here sooner. I had texted and called people who previously said they could watch the boys while Jason and I were in the hospital. People were either sick, their kids were sick or no one answered. At the beginning I wasn't too worried, we had hours before we needed them as the contractions were only 11 minutes apart. But as I tried to relax and deal with them, I soon noticed they were coming faster and I was in more pain. Only 7-8 minutes in between them. I told Jason we would need to go to the hospital sooner than planned and should have someone here after we put the kids down for a nap. Another hour later and I told him we need someone to watch the kids now, as they were 5 minutes apart and we had to leave. Only, we still didn't have contact with anyone who could. I was nervous and stressed. I finally had Jason call his parents to come down to be with the boys, only, they were still an hour away. They said they could come down, and I quickly tried to find someone to watch them until they got to us. I was able to find a wonderful lady in our ward who heard the desperation in my voice and was able to watch them for a bit. She showed up and Jason and I left a little after 11. I had been in contact with my mom earlier that day and kept her up to date on what was going on and told her to head down as I was in need of her support and comfort as a mother can give. The time at the hospital was anything but easy, but with Jason and an amazing nurse, they helped me get through most of it. My mom was able to show up just in time as I needed a little more patience through the pain.
On May 8th, 2015 at 12:46 and only 2 pushes (for those who care to know) Vincent Marc Wilber was born. 7 pounds and 12 ounces, with a length of 19 inches. He was perfect!!!! I held him and was super happy and content and in complete awe. It is an extremely difficult thing to describe quite how I felt. As I feel when I have babies, they are my little miracles. Angels who come down to be part of my family. With this birth, I felt like I had more of a spiritual heavenly experience. I love LOVE being a mother! Adding Vincent to our family now, was exactly what was supposed to happen. :)
My 3 musketeers!! :)
Our crazy awesome family. :)
May just might be the biggest. :)
So earlier this month I went through a week of each day pretty jam packed of things to do.
I had my birthday and turned another year older. YAY!! Not feeling like I should be this old already.
THEN!!! I had an incredible . . . . PERFECT 5 year anniversary of when I got married to my eternal companion, Jason. :) This year we had decided to keep things cheap and low cost. No special trip to celebrate. Just keeping it local and easy. I have an amaZing cousin who watched our boys for us so we could have a little celebration though. We were able to go to the temple and do sealings and then go out for dinner at Olive Garden using a gift card Jason had received from Christmas. Leaving only the tip and a few extra dollars for us to pay for. Jason, my wonderful, handsome, sweet and smart husband . . . . he gave me the best gift for our anniversary that he's ever given me.
He wrote me a song. I love music! I LOVE it when he sings! Then he wrote me A SONG!!! Wowzers!!!
Not necessarily the notes and music. But he took the music and put his own words to it. HE MADE ME CRY!!! I love his singing voice, that man is quite humble and shy when it comes to who hears his voice but he makes me melt when he sings!! He goofs off a lot in singing, but he is incredible!! When he had me listen to the recording of the song, it was full of emotion and love! The lyrics he put together were incredible and touched my heart. He is not perfect and neither am I. But our love for each other runs deep and is continually growing.
Now . . . this week is already busy and exciting . . . but it gets even better. :) I had my 3rd darling baby boy.
Now on the 7th of May, he dropped sometime in the night. I woke up in the morning and was switching from mildly uncomfortable to being in a lot of pain. He was putting pressure on my tail bone which hurt . . . TONS!!! I also saw my Dr. that day. He let me know that the next day he was taking his mother out to go golfing which they do every year for a mother's day present. I was fine with that and told my little boy he can't come that day . . . . HA!!!! So for the rest of the day, I was in a lot of pain from him being in that position that I had to use my breathing exercises to endure it. Sometime around midnight, I realized that my stomach was tight during one of my 'deep breathing' sessions. I slightly panicked. I looked at the time and kept track. I did this for quite a while, praying that they would stop . . . . . Nope, they didn't. I hadn't realized when labor had started, but it did, and I was anxious. At some point I told Jason, and didn't sleep a wink for the rest of the night because I had to focus on breathing and attempting to relax.
When the kids woke up, we did our best to keep me down and not active, hoping to delay the need to go to the hospital. We thought we could control the contractions. RIGHT!! I was thinking I would have our baby sometime that night or the following morning. So so funny. Our little boy was more impatient and wanting to get here sooner. I had texted and called people who previously said they could watch the boys while Jason and I were in the hospital. People were either sick, their kids were sick or no one answered. At the beginning I wasn't too worried, we had hours before we needed them as the contractions were only 11 minutes apart. But as I tried to relax and deal with them, I soon noticed they were coming faster and I was in more pain. Only 7-8 minutes in between them. I told Jason we would need to go to the hospital sooner than planned and should have someone here after we put the kids down for a nap. Another hour later and I told him we need someone to watch the kids now, as they were 5 minutes apart and we had to leave. Only, we still didn't have contact with anyone who could. I was nervous and stressed. I finally had Jason call his parents to come down to be with the boys, only, they were still an hour away. They said they could come down, and I quickly tried to find someone to watch them until they got to us. I was able to find a wonderful lady in our ward who heard the desperation in my voice and was able to watch them for a bit. She showed up and Jason and I left a little after 11. I had been in contact with my mom earlier that day and kept her up to date on what was going on and told her to head down as I was in need of her support and comfort as a mother can give. The time at the hospital was anything but easy, but with Jason and an amazing nurse, they helped me get through most of it. My mom was able to show up just in time as I needed a little more patience through the pain.
On May 8th, 2015 at 12:46 and only 2 pushes (for those who care to know) Vincent Marc Wilber was born. 7 pounds and 12 ounces, with a length of 19 inches. He was perfect!!!! I held him and was super happy and content and in complete awe. It is an extremely difficult thing to describe quite how I felt. As I feel when I have babies, they are my little miracles. Angels who come down to be part of my family. With this birth, I felt like I had more of a spiritual heavenly experience. I love LOVE being a mother! Adding Vincent to our family now, was exactly what was supposed to happen. :)
Monday, April 27, 2015
Graduating for the last time!
I am SO incredibly proud of my husband!! :)
Jason has worked really hard to graduate and now has his Master's!! It was awesome to see him walk this past week at the Marriott building. His parents and my mom were there with me as well as a handful of my siblings. They all helped take care of Alyx and William during the graduation. I had a wonderful time too! When the speeches were all done, I debated getting out of my seat and climbing the stairs and walking all the way to the opposite side and down more stairs to take a picture of him. My mother-in-law offered to do it for me, but I really wanted to do it myself.
Well I did it! I was really rushing and trying to take it easy at the same time, and I barely made it! I was walking down the stairs when I heard his name called and I let out a little wahoo. lol. I made it to the bottom and tried to steady myself to take come clear pictures of him walking across.
Yeah, they didn't turn out too well.
BUT! That didn't matter, because when he saw me standing there, he smiled one of his happiest smiles, and I couldn't help but feel butterflies at the sight. He came over to me and gave me a kiss, and then another and left me smiling. Seriously perma grin, cloud 9 feeling. One of the ladies standing with all the other parents/spouses made a comment that she would've totally taken that picture for me. I smiled and laughed, wishing it was captured on my camera but knowing there was no way we could have really caught the moment. I thanked her and headed back to my seat. The workout was more than worth it. My happiness at seeing Jason's smile and getting his kisses were etched in my heart. I later asked him if he had expected to see me there and told me he didn't. Hence why he smiled that way. It was incredible! :)
Later after the grand graduation of the Humanities had finished I surprised him with a party for him at home. :) Super awesome day for my super awesome, incredibly handsome and smart husband, whom I love with all my heart and soul. :)
Jason has worked really hard to graduate and now has his Master's!! It was awesome to see him walk this past week at the Marriott building. His parents and my mom were there with me as well as a handful of my siblings. They all helped take care of Alyx and William during the graduation. I had a wonderful time too! When the speeches were all done, I debated getting out of my seat and climbing the stairs and walking all the way to the opposite side and down more stairs to take a picture of him. My mother-in-law offered to do it for me, but I really wanted to do it myself.
Well I did it! I was really rushing and trying to take it easy at the same time, and I barely made it! I was walking down the stairs when I heard his name called and I let out a little wahoo. lol. I made it to the bottom and tried to steady myself to take come clear pictures of him walking across.
Yeah, they didn't turn out too well.
BUT! That didn't matter, because when he saw me standing there, he smiled one of his happiest smiles, and I couldn't help but feel butterflies at the sight. He came over to me and gave me a kiss, and then another and left me smiling. Seriously perma grin, cloud 9 feeling. One of the ladies standing with all the other parents/spouses made a comment that she would've totally taken that picture for me. I smiled and laughed, wishing it was captured on my camera but knowing there was no way we could have really caught the moment. I thanked her and headed back to my seat. The workout was more than worth it. My happiness at seeing Jason's smile and getting his kisses were etched in my heart. I later asked him if he had expected to see me there and told me he didn't. Hence why he smiled that way. It was incredible! :)
Later after the grand graduation of the Humanities had finished I surprised him with a party for him at home. :) Super awesome day for my super awesome, incredibly handsome and smart husband, whom I love with all my heart and soul. :)
Saturday, April 18, 2015
This isn't my plan, but I'll follow it anyway . . .
I've said this to multiple people for a long time, but only in the past few weeks has it really started to hit me.
That what I'm doing in my life, I never saw for myself. I mean yes, I knew I would EVENTUALLY marry and EVENTUALLY become a mother and have kids. But the timing of it all I could never say it was mine.
After graduating, I planned on getting my associates at a community college and then heading to Utah State where I would get my degree in Music Therapy. Maybe serving a mission, if that was what the Lord wanted me to do, but I was more leaning in favor than not. Then someday probably mid twenties get married since I didn't think that any guy would see me for who I am until I grew up some more and became more intelligent and talented. Than several years after getting married we would have kids. That was my idea, my plan.
Instead, it took a HUGE surprising turn for the way best.
I did stumble and fall after graduating and made some pretty big mistakes. But with the Atonement and some really great people in my life, I got it back on track, on the Lord's path for me. I married when I turned 20 to my handsome man who is also my bestest friend and stood by my side through the darkest part of my life. He pulled me up and helped me see that I deserved to be loved and treated with kindness. We had prayed with all our hearts and an open mind to what Heavenly Father wanted for our future. Poor as dirt newlyweds and both of us working and going to school, we learned that He wanted us to have a baby. So we did. After some more time, when Alyx was just under a year I had multiple promptings that we needed to be joined by another special spirit. So after some more couple prayer and going to the temple, we knew we needed to listen. William was born. I had dropped school right before Alyx was born and other than working here and there I was a full time mom and Jason fully supported us. Now I am once again pregnant and I feel every week at my 36 weeks because the Holy Ghost prompted Jason that we should have another baby, even when Jason and I had agreed on waiting a whole year more to try again. This was not our plan, but when we are told to do something. It is in our best interest and happiness to follow God's plan for us.
He knows what will bring true happiness. Could I have been happy with my plan? Sure. But would I be this happy as I am now? No!
School was already tough on me. I almost have no interest in generals save for some small sections. But I don't like English, Math, Science or History. I LOVE sports, music, art, cooking, and Spanish. I am able to have my interests in my everyday life. I don't need to go to school when being a wife and a mother not only brings me happiness and joy but is what the Lord has commanded me to do. :)
That doesn't mean I don't struggle in my life. I still have stress and incredibly hard trials. My life is not all full of rainbows and sunshine, but I choose to see the blessings I have. I do my best to stay open to the Holy Ghost and try to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do. I am so SOO INCREDIBLY blessed. I have seen my family and friends suffer in different ways, where I have no comprehension for what they are going through. I am surrounded and blanketed by unconditional love, safety, peace and excitement for my future. I am so grateful and super happy for not only where I am at in life, but WHO I am.
Life has gone up and down for me, major highs and extreme lows. But whatever he has in store for me, whether it was part of my plan or not, I will do my best to have faith and obey him.
That what I'm doing in my life, I never saw for myself. I mean yes, I knew I would EVENTUALLY marry and EVENTUALLY become a mother and have kids. But the timing of it all I could never say it was mine.
After graduating, I planned on getting my associates at a community college and then heading to Utah State where I would get my degree in Music Therapy. Maybe serving a mission, if that was what the Lord wanted me to do, but I was more leaning in favor than not. Then someday probably mid twenties get married since I didn't think that any guy would see me for who I am until I grew up some more and became more intelligent and talented. Than several years after getting married we would have kids. That was my idea, my plan.
Instead, it took a HUGE surprising turn for the way best.
I did stumble and fall after graduating and made some pretty big mistakes. But with the Atonement and some really great people in my life, I got it back on track, on the Lord's path for me. I married when I turned 20 to my handsome man who is also my bestest friend and stood by my side through the darkest part of my life. He pulled me up and helped me see that I deserved to be loved and treated with kindness. We had prayed with all our hearts and an open mind to what Heavenly Father wanted for our future. Poor as dirt newlyweds and both of us working and going to school, we learned that He wanted us to have a baby. So we did. After some more time, when Alyx was just under a year I had multiple promptings that we needed to be joined by another special spirit. So after some more couple prayer and going to the temple, we knew we needed to listen. William was born. I had dropped school right before Alyx was born and other than working here and there I was a full time mom and Jason fully supported us. Now I am once again pregnant and I feel every week at my 36 weeks because the Holy Ghost prompted Jason that we should have another baby, even when Jason and I had agreed on waiting a whole year more to try again. This was not our plan, but when we are told to do something. It is in our best interest and happiness to follow God's plan for us.
He knows what will bring true happiness. Could I have been happy with my plan? Sure. But would I be this happy as I am now? No!
School was already tough on me. I almost have no interest in generals save for some small sections. But I don't like English, Math, Science or History. I LOVE sports, music, art, cooking, and Spanish. I am able to have my interests in my everyday life. I don't need to go to school when being a wife and a mother not only brings me happiness and joy but is what the Lord has commanded me to do. :)
That doesn't mean I don't struggle in my life. I still have stress and incredibly hard trials. My life is not all full of rainbows and sunshine, but I choose to see the blessings I have. I do my best to stay open to the Holy Ghost and try to do what Heavenly Father wants me to do. I am so SOO INCREDIBLY blessed. I have seen my family and friends suffer in different ways, where I have no comprehension for what they are going through. I am surrounded and blanketed by unconditional love, safety, peace and excitement for my future. I am so grateful and super happy for not only where I am at in life, but WHO I am.
Life has gone up and down for me, major highs and extreme lows. But whatever he has in store for me, whether it was part of my plan or not, I will do my best to have faith and obey him.
Monday, April 13, 2015
My little but BIG miracle!
Last night something very wonderful happened . . . . Alyx, my first born, wild child and darling boy WANTED to sit on my lap.
Now let me tell you that shocked me. He is known to be very super active and all over the place. Not really affectionate (hugs, kisses and cuddles). Also quite the daddy's boy. Always wants to hold daddy's hand, not mine, be on daddy's lap and gets upset if William is sitting on Jason's lap. When you get a hug from Alyx and it's longer than two seconds, it is really precious.
So I was surprised when not only he proceeded to sit on my lap. But for a minute or two, he CUDDLED with me and didn't move when I put my arms around him!!!!!!!!!
Some might not see that as a big deal and brush it off. Or think that was nice, but to me. TO ME. It was one of the best gifts I have been given. A gift of love. It melted me, my mother heart was bursting with happiness and overflowing with gratitude. I soaked it all in. I tried my best to imprint the moment in my mind. Knowing it could be a very very long time before that happened again.
I love all my children. Born and yet to be born.
With each child, there is always a special place in my heart for them.
Alyx, he made me a mother. He is the first person in my life that really needed me 24/7 and depended on me for everything. I experienced such extreme joy when he was placed in my arms the day he was born. I experienced sorrow at when they had to take him away to do tests, or give him shots. He is my first and no one else can take his place in my life. I love him sooo much!!! I am far from being the best or perfect mother, but I am trying. I try to help him smile. I try to teach him what he needs to know. I try to teach him to love others. Life is never easy, and Alyx comes with his challenges as any child does. But I make sure he knows that I love him, and hope that he never doubts that as he grows older.
Now let me tell you that shocked me. He is known to be very super active and all over the place. Not really affectionate (hugs, kisses and cuddles). Also quite the daddy's boy. Always wants to hold daddy's hand, not mine, be on daddy's lap and gets upset if William is sitting on Jason's lap. When you get a hug from Alyx and it's longer than two seconds, it is really precious.
So I was surprised when not only he proceeded to sit on my lap. But for a minute or two, he CUDDLED with me and didn't move when I put my arms around him!!!!!!!!!
Some might not see that as a big deal and brush it off. Or think that was nice, but to me. TO ME. It was one of the best gifts I have been given. A gift of love. It melted me, my mother heart was bursting with happiness and overflowing with gratitude. I soaked it all in. I tried my best to imprint the moment in my mind. Knowing it could be a very very long time before that happened again.
I love all my children. Born and yet to be born.
With each child, there is always a special place in my heart for them.
Alyx, he made me a mother. He is the first person in my life that really needed me 24/7 and depended on me for everything. I experienced such extreme joy when he was placed in my arms the day he was born. I experienced sorrow at when they had to take him away to do tests, or give him shots. He is my first and no one else can take his place in my life. I love him sooo much!!! I am far from being the best or perfect mother, but I am trying. I try to help him smile. I try to teach him what he needs to know. I try to teach him to love others. Life is never easy, and Alyx comes with his challenges as any child does. But I make sure he knows that I love him, and hope that he never doubts that as he grows older.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Balance
I can't give a really good reason for why I haven't blogged in forever. I could say I was busy, and I was, but that isn't the whole truth. Lazy? Maybe. Forgot I had a blog? That was a huge chunk of it. Until I had a friend tell me that she loved reading my blog posts and missed me writing the goings on in my life. Also I had several other friends who took up blogging and that reminded me that I had one too. So I am at it once again! But I'm not only doing it for those who happen to want to read this, but I am doing it for me.
I have realized I missed it. It was actually a lot like therapy for me. It also has helped me remember things as I re-read my thoughts, feelings and past events in my life.
I am also doing it for my children. Even though the chances are slim, they might actually be interested in what I write.
I have over the past few weeks, changed my daily tasks to improve my life and that of my family. Trying to attain a balance in my life that gives me peace and happiness. Still cleaned, but tried to not overwork myself and yet not let the house look like a tornado swept through. Improved my daily prayer and scripture habits, and couple prayer/scripture study with Jason. Also, added some fun new activities for the boys to do that will help their creativity, and have them end up with the smiley faces that I adore.
But I am lacking in me time. Yet another reason, I am taking up blogging again. Because I enjoy it!
In a few weeks, my life will yet again have me struggle to find a new balance . . .
Why?
I am happy and excited to say, my boys will be joined by another wonderful little boy. My three Wilber musketeers. :) I still can't believe I will be having my third child so soon. His due date is May 15th, not long after my birthday and my 5th anniversary to being sealed for time and all eternity to Jason. But I know with all my heart, that he's meant to be here at this time.
Life will continue to always be busy and so many things to do, especially with a new little one on the way, but I will find some time to write and try to keep a happy balance in my life. :)
I have realized I missed it. It was actually a lot like therapy for me. It also has helped me remember things as I re-read my thoughts, feelings and past events in my life.
I am also doing it for my children. Even though the chances are slim, they might actually be interested in what I write.
I have over the past few weeks, changed my daily tasks to improve my life and that of my family. Trying to attain a balance in my life that gives me peace and happiness. Still cleaned, but tried to not overwork myself and yet not let the house look like a tornado swept through. Improved my daily prayer and scripture habits, and couple prayer/scripture study with Jason. Also, added some fun new activities for the boys to do that will help their creativity, and have them end up with the smiley faces that I adore.
But I am lacking in me time. Yet another reason, I am taking up blogging again. Because I enjoy it!
In a few weeks, my life will yet again have me struggle to find a new balance . . .
Why?
I am happy and excited to say, my boys will be joined by another wonderful little boy. My three Wilber musketeers. :) I still can't believe I will be having my third child so soon. His due date is May 15th, not long after my birthday and my 5th anniversary to being sealed for time and all eternity to Jason. But I know with all my heart, that he's meant to be here at this time.
Life will continue to always be busy and so many things to do, especially with a new little one on the way, but I will find some time to write and try to keep a happy balance in my life. :)
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